Dancing and Disaster: 6

Bakewell’s popular with tourists, but not so much in October, so rooms were plentiful. Except, of course, it was stupid o’clock and tiny country towns don’t have the kinds of places where you can get a room at any hour of the day or night.

So we couldn’t get in to Silvessen and we couldn’t get anywhere to sleep, either. So far, so disastrous.

Luckily, we had Emellana Rogan with us. If she isn’t the most well-travelled woman on the planet, it has to be a close contest.

‘Just a minute, then,’ she said, once we’d crossed Bakewell twice looking in vain for a “rooms available” sign with lights in the windows. She gestured in the direction of the dark and barren fields, bordered with drystone walls, that ringed the raggle-taggle cluster of buildings. ‘Plenty of space out there. Come on.’

I squinted, as though that might help me see farther into the darkness. ‘Space?’ I echoed. ‘For what?’

But Em had already set off, and the rest of us had to work hard to keep up with her long stride. She led us on a forced march for some two or three minutes, then stopped in the midst of what felt to my feet like reasonably soft grass.

‘We’re sleeping here?’ said Indira, doubtfully. ‘Just on the ground?’

I could sympathise with her obvious discomfort at the idea. Indira struck me as a fastidiously neat person; rarely had I seen her with so much as a hair out of place.

Me, I was more worried about the cold.

Emellana smiled enigmatically, and gestured again, a gesture I might have termed flamboyant if it had been anybody but self-contained Emellana who’d made it.

The air rippled, folded itself up, and became a tent. A glorious tent, expansive and inviting, wrought from some airy and ethereal fabric most pleasing to mine eye.

It was warm, too, as I soon discovered. We piled inside to find blankets and pillows laid out in five bundles, and not only did the tent protect us from the freezing wind, it also seemed to be gently heated.

‘Ms Rogan,’ I said fervently. ‘You are a queen amongst women.’

She actually laughed at that, a little. ‘I consider it a fair trade for spiced honey cakes,’ she informed me.

‘Ooh, good point,’ said Zareen, flopping down into a nest of blankets and extracting her boxes of goodies.

‘So you’ve employed this trick before,’ I surmised around a mouthful of Bakewell tart.

She inclined her head. ‘Only when there is no other choice. It is rather draining.’

‘Where did you learn it?’ asked Indira. ‘I’ve never come across such an art.’

Emellana finished her cakes and lay down, stuffing two pillows under her head. ‘I learned it from a silk-weaver in Hangzhou.’

Indira said nothing, but her face was hungry, like she’d eat the whole of Hangzhou alive if doing so would procure her its secrets.

‘Not yet,’ said Jay, shaking his head at his sister. ‘You haven’t got time.’

Indira sighed in agreement, and flopped into her blankets.

‘Time to sleep,’ I decided. ‘Big day tomorrow.’

Awfully sensible of me, wasn’t it? Right up there with all that going to bed early I’d tried to do earlier in the evening.

But despite the delicious comfort of my blankets and pillows — almost as good as a real bed, you’d hardly know you were lying on cold, damp grass — I couldn’t sleep. My mind turned and turned upon the problem of the Fairy Stone, and the foolish promise I’d made to solve it post-haste.

Promises are dangerous things. They’re only made of words, and I’ve been forming sentences for a while now. Too easy to make.

Keeping them is the harder part, but one rarely thinks about that while uttering grandiloquent oaths. Whatever confidence I’d felt an hour ago had disappeared somewhere.

I couldn’t sleep because I didn’t have time. My team were relying on me to get them into Silvessen, and whose fault was that but my own? I’d borrowed Merlin’s arts for exactly this reason, and now I had to work out what to do with them.

Stifling a sigh — it wouldn’t do to wake my compatriots as well as failing them — I got up again and crept out of the tent.

The clouds were clearing and the sky was a veil of stars. I stood looking up at them for some time, hoping some Muse of Magick would bless me with a flash of conveniently timed insight.

Nope.

‘Fine,’ I muttered, extracting my phone.

It may surprise you to learn that Ophelia owns a phone. It certainly surprised me. It isn’t that she eschews modern conveniences altogether, despite the antiquity of her cottage. But she rarely bothers with them, and you know why? Because she doesn’t need them. What do you need a fridge for if you’re Merlin? She’s got storage boxes that keep food chilled and they’re powered by magick, not electricity. Why do you need an oven or a gas-powered stove when you can summon as much fire or heat as you like with a flick of your fingers? Ophelia’s kitchen is marvellous because she’s marvellous.

Phones, though. She might be able to communicate over long distances in magickal ways, but most of the rest of us can’t. So she keeps a mobile.

In a drawer. I found it a few weeks ago, buried under a stack of papers and unrecognisable paraphernalia and clearly untouched in some time.

I took it out and quietly placed it somewhere a bit more obvious. I don’t know what premonition made me do that, but I blessed my accidental forethought now as I stood in a field in Derbyshire, half-frozen and out of ideas, and hoped she’d consent to answer the thing at three in the morning.

She did. Eventually.

‘Ves?’ she said, crisply. Not sleep-fuddled. Probably up late working on some new, brilliant potion.

‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘I know it’s obscenely late.’

‘‘What’s the problem?’

‘It’s the gate into Silvessen.’ I gave her a speedy precis of the situation, then waited impatiently through a rather long silence from the other end.

‘It’s completely dead?’ she said at last.

‘Seems to be. I can’t find so much as a stray thread of magick in there, and I couldn’t get it to accept any of mine, either.’

‘It’s not like a battery, Ves. You can’t just recharge it.’

‘So I discovered.’

She was quiet again for a time. ‘It is a conundrum,’ she allowed. ‘The gate is inactive because Silvessen Dell is a dead enclave. Were the enclave revived, so too would the gate be, but you need to revive the gate in order to access the Dell.’

‘That’s about the size of it.’

‘Jay cannot assist you, I collect?’

‘If there is a Way-henge inside Silvessen, Jay can’t find it. Probably for the same reason.’

‘Hm. Then you’ll have to go back a bit.’

‘Back? Back where?’

‘Think of Farringale and Baroness Tremayne.’

Hm. Baroness Tremayne, a troll noblewoman who’d survived the death of Farringale by centuries. In a manner of speaking. ‘Between the echoes,’ I said. ‘I still have no idea what that means.’

‘It is about memory. And dream.’

‘I hate to keep being such a downer, but I have no idea what that means, either.’

‘You probably do, Ves. Didn’t you tell me you detected a memory of magick within the Fairy Stone?’

‘Yes…’

‘The Stone remembers what it once was. Somewhere, between the echoes of memory and time, there’s a thread you could use.’

‘All right, thank you, but how do I find it?’

‘Go deeper. Remember what I’ve been teaching you.’

Deeper. Hm. I thanked Ophelia with as much grace as I could muster (which was less than she deserved, but what can I say? It was three in the morning, I’d hardly slept, and I was badly feeling the pressure) and hung up.

Go deeper. Right.

Sleep being out of the question, I didn’t bother returning to the tent. Instead I sent a text to Jay’s phone. Meet me at the Fairy Stone, it said. Bring sustenance.

Then I trudged wearily out into the grassy field. When I judged I’d put enough distance in between me and both the tent and Bakewell, I retrieved my syrinx pipes and played Addie’s song.

My glorious unicorn Familiar answered promptly, as she usually does. I still had her bag of chips about me, even if they were cold by now. She didn’t mind. I admired her rippling, pearly mane and gleaming silvery hide as she devoured my offering of peace and friendship, and then I was up on her back and we were galloping away.

Two or three strides in, Addie spread her beautiful wings and away we flew.

Dancing and Disaster: 5

This statement disconcerted Indira, who, of all those present, probably understood me the least.

‘It’s okay,’ Jay reassured her. ‘This is Ves. Her idea of evil is making people eat too much cake. Or turning your hair fabulous colours without telling you.’

I frowned. ‘I’m sure I could think of something more diabolical than that.’

‘When you do, I’d be delighted to hear about it,’ said Jay. Words that would, probably, haunt him someday soon.

Indira just shook her head. I think the gesture meant “I give up trying to understand this” more than an utter rejection of my entire personal worth, but one never knows.

‘I, for one, am entirely in favour of Evil Ves,’ said Zareen. ‘I see honorary membership of the School of Weird in your future. School tie and and everything.’

‘Hey. Weird and Evil aren’t the same thing, Zar. Haven’t you kept saying that.’

‘Maybe I was lying.’ She shook out her green-streaked black hair, smiling with cat-like satisfaction. ‘I’m Evil like that.’

‘Anyway,’ said Emellana, mildly intervening. ‘Shall we go?’

‘Onward,’ I said. ‘Right after I pick up our picnic from Kitchen.’

‘Ves,’ said Jay, with a faint sigh, ‘we aren’t delving into the frozen wastes, battling for survival against the uncaring elements. There’ll be food.’

‘You said that so beautifully.’

‘And it made not the slightest difference to you, did it.’

I beamed at Jay and exited stage left, en route straight to the pantry.

***

I met up with the rest of Team Unstoppable outside the House. Not at the front door, obviously. That would be far too mundane. I found them skulking in the cellar, as befit such a shady mission. They were gathered around the Way-henge, Zareen leaning casually against the wall, Indira standing stock-still and tense in a corner, Emellana apparently thinking of something else entirely, and Jay pacing up and down, his phone in his hand. Everyone looked up sharply as I barrelled through the door, then relaxed when they saw it was me.

‘Okay,’ I panted, having done a wee bit of running on my way downstairs. ‘I’ve got something for everyone.’

‘Samosas?’ said Jay.

‘Check. Bhajis for Indira.’

Indira actually smiled, a bit. Nothing like food to cheer people up.

‘Halva for Zareen.’

‘Pistachio?’

‘Of course.’

I was instantly divested of the article in question, Zareen snatching it out of my hands like a greedy child, and disappearing it with a flick of her fingers. Only a swirl of shadow remained where the halva had been, and that soon dissipated.

‘And since I love you,’ I added. ‘I also got sholeh zard.’ I handed her a Tupperware container, within which a golden and fragrant pudding lurked.

Zareen eyed me suspiciously, though she snatched the container. ‘I begin to think you’re buttering me up for something. What’s the catch?’

‘You’re welcome,’ I said, ignoring that. ‘Em, I wasn’t sure what you’d like but they told me these spiced honey pastries are popular at Court right now.’

‘There are people manning the kitchen at this hour?’ Emellana looked either impressed or appalled, I couldn’t decide which.

‘Well, there’s Magnus. Nobody can persuade him to sleep.’ I handed her a waxed paper bag. ‘And for me, Bakewell tarts.’

‘I smell something deep fried.’ Jay ostentatiously sniffed the air.

‘Chips for Addie. If we need her, I don’t want to have to explain why I didn’t bring her a picnic too.’

‘Right.’

‘Again.’

Jay inclined his head. ‘Okay, enough dawdling, we’re going.’

He said that ringingly, and with purpose, so I was puzzled when he returned to his phone and remained deedily occupied.

‘I’m sure she’ll wait,’ I said, when a few minutes passed.

‘Who?’ Jay didn’t even look up.

‘The, uh, person you’re dating.’

He did look up, then, but only to crook an eyebrow at me. My cunning attempt to find out more about Jay’s mystery woman (about whom he had been notably tight-lipped) went unanswered. ‘I’m finding the way,’ he said.

‘With the Wapp!’

‘The— the what?’

‘The Way-App. The Wapp. You know?’

He stared at me, and blinked.

I began to feel uncomfortable. ‘What?’

Jay shook his head, a gesture remarkably similar to his sister’s quarter of an hour before. I might be the death of these Patels. ‘I’m wondering,’ he said, putting his phone away in a pocket.

‘Wondering what manner of merciful death I deserve?’

‘Wondering why I didn’t think of that name myself. Come on.’

I was grabbed, and firmly escorted into the henge. Zar and Em and Indira came forward, and we did a circle-of-hands thing. The Winds of the Ways began to swirl around my feet, the sense of building magick grew, and honestly the whole thing seemed very Captain Planet to this child who’d always wanted to summon the power of Heart. And there were five of us. Coincidence? I think not.

Jay’s obviously the power of Wind. Emellana is Earth, with her solid-rock steadiness. Zareen is as changeable as Fire, so that leaves Water for Indira. Not a perfect fit, but Indira’s good at literally anything that doesn’t require her to talk, so she’ll run with it.

I was mentally casting Alban in the role of the Captain when the Winds reached screaming-pitch, and we whirled away.

***

‘It’s funny you should have brought Bakewell tarts,’ said Jay, once he’d got his breath back.

The comment passed me by, at first, for we emerged into a darkness so blank I felt a momentary panic. Rarely does one encounter such pitch blackness; there’s usually light somewhere, even in the depths of night, even if it’s only a faint glow. But tonight, the moon lay sulking behind a thick cloud cover and wherever we’d fetched up was obviously far from civilisation.

I collected my wits, always rather scattered after a jump through the Ways, and mustered a glowing ball of light. The ravenous darkness swallowed its soft, genteel glow, and I hastily summoned several more. Only once I had the place properly floodlit did I register Jay’s remark.

‘Why’s that funny?’

‘Because we’re not far from Bakewell.’

I took a long look around.

We had appeared in the midst of a proper, proper henge, none of those underwhelming types where there’s nothing to see save a slight mound or two. Several ancient, craggy stones over half a metre tall surrounded me in a wide circle, dark and moss-covered. Beyond them stretched a ragged moor, scrubby with grasses greenish and tawny-brown.

Bakewell. Derbyshire.

‘We’re in the Peak District?’ said Zareen.

‘We are. And this is Hordron Edge, otherwise known as the Seven Stones of Hordron.’

I shivered as he spoke, mostly because of the brisk midnight winds sweeping over the moor. Maybe a little bit with fear. I hadn’t forgotten the impenetrable, blinding dark. ‘That sounds suitably mystical,’ I said, hoping, as I often do, to ward off fear with flippancy.

‘Head west a bit and you’ll hit Ladybower Tor.’

‘Charming.’

‘And for Zareen’s interest, Cutthroat Bridge is over there.’ Jay pointed off into the darkness.

Zareen grinned. ‘Already I’m liking this place.’

‘And Silvessen?’ said Indira, all business as usual.

Em hadn’t spoken. I noticed she had taken up a station by the largest of the visible stones, a great, mossy outcropping fully a metre tall. She’d placed one hand against the stone, and stood with her eyes closed.

I drifted that way. So did Jay. ‘Found something?’ I asked.

‘Wouldn’t be surprised,’ Jay put in. ‘They call this the Fairy Stone.’

‘For good reason,’ said Em, without opening her eyes. ‘Whatever magic once flourished here is long, long faded, but I can feel traces of it, still.’

I hesitated, then laid a hand against the Fairy Stone myself. I’d tried this trick before, without much effect. Whatever arts Emellana (and my mother) employed to sense long-past magick, I didn’t have them at my disposal.

But now I was a walking reservoir of incredibly ancient magick and things were different. The stone thrummed under my fingers, a faint, distant pulse, like the echo of a failing heartbeat.

Realisation struck. ‘This was once a gate.’

‘The gate to Silvessen, specifically,’ said Jay. ‘And our first objective is to figure out how to get through it.’

I realised he was looking at me.

So was Emellana. And Indira, and Zareen.

I felt a stab of regret. If I hadn’t mentioned my borrowing of Merlin’s powers, maybe I wouldn’t be so thoroughly on the spot now.

I didn’t have the faintest idea what to do.

‘It’s not like I can just, tell it to open,’ I tried to explain. I could say this with authority, because I’d been trying.

‘I don’t know how these things work,’ said Jay, shrugging.

‘Me neither.’ Zareen sat down with her back against the Fairy Stone, and shut her eyes. Maybe she needed a nap. It was pretty late.

Indira hovered nearby, patently deep in thought, but since she said nothing I concluded that she, too, was stumped.

I stared, pleadingly, at Em.

‘The gate is long closed,’ she said. ‘Sealed. I would say it has been hundreds of years since it was last opened.’

‘And there’s no magick left here,’ I put in, gloomily. It wasn’t magick I was feeling in the stone; only a memory.

Jay stood with his hands in his pockets, frowning at the problem. ‘Could you maybe… add some?’ he said, looking at me.

‘Me personally?’

He shrugged. ‘You’re full of lyre-magick from the Fifth Britain, and Merlin’s powers to boot. If anybody can, it’d be you.’

True, that, but I couldn’t say I had a great deal of control over it. Odd things happened when I touched things, sometimes, and of course there was the whole turning-into-a-unicorn thing. But the things I touched had to have some kind of magick or potential of their own before anything much would happen, and the unicorn thing only came about when I was in Addie’s glade.

The Fairy Stone may have enjoyed a glittering past, but today it was dead as a dodo.

‘I’m not fully trained,’ I apologised. ‘If there’s any reviving-of-ancient-gates in my curriculum, we haven’t got to it yet.’

Jay looked disappointed. I could understand why. If you’ve brought the embodiment of ancient British magick along on your quest, only to find that she can’t open an ancient magickal gate, that’s a bit of a downer, isn’t it?

‘Maybe… if we use the regulator.’ That was Indira, so softly spoken that the wind almost whipped the words away.

‘Good thought,’ I allowed, cautiously. ‘If it’s the loss of magick that turned this gate into a dead lump of rock, maybe a revival of magick could reverse the effect.’

‘But we were supposed to deploy that in Silvessen,’ Jay disagreed. ‘This isn’t Silvessen. We’re right out in the regular world, in the open. It’s risky. And I’m not sure it would even work.’

‘Then it will have to be Ves.’ That was Emellana, sounding vaguely amused, I wasn’t sure why.

Jay and Indira both looked at me, and waited.

I thought I heard a faint snore from Zareen.

‘I can’t do it,’ I said, trying to sound calm. ‘At least, not immediately. I need some time to think about it.’

And maybe call Ophelia. I didn’t really want to have to call for help five minutes into our mission, that was embarrassing, but going home in defeat because we couldn’t pass the first obstacle would be significantly more so.

Jay nodded, agreeably enough, but I noticed he’d begun to shiver. ‘How long do you think that will take?’

‘Too long for us to stand out here while I do it. I’ll make you a deal.’ I took my hand off the Fairy Stone, though my fingers continued to thrum faintly. ‘Take us to Bakewell. Let’s find rooms for the night, get some sleep. In the morning, feed me sumptuously on Bakewell tart — the proper, authentic kind — and I promise to come up with the answer.’

Jay held out both of his hands. ‘All aboard the Patel bus, leaving for Bakewell in three minutes,’ he announced. ‘Or, close enough.’

Clinging to the prospect of sweet, almond delights to sustain me, I permitted myself to be whisked away, trying not to quail too badly under the foolhardy promise I’d made.

Idiot.

Dancing and Disaster: 4

‘So, how do we do this?’ I asked.

‘Oh, you want to do it now?’ Ophelia seemed surprised.

‘I don’t see why not. It’ll give me a little time to get used to everything before we go.’

She nodded, and without another word she advanced on me with, apparently, serious intent.

I experienced a flicker of nerves and an odd impulse to back away. She was giving me what I’d asked for, so what was I worried about? I suppose I’d expected more argument, more discussion, more delay. But no, here she came, it was about to happen, what if I really wasn’t ready—

‘Oh,’ I said, stupidly, because she’d bent slightly to press her lips to my forehead, and that really hadn’t been what I was expecting. At all.

And that seemed to be it, for she withdrew, leaving me to process a burgeoning feeling of — disorder.

‘I didn’t, um. I didn’t know it would make me feel sick,’ I croaked.

Ophelia had withdrawn as far as the other side of the room. Now she came back, and put into my hands a handsome copper basin.

‘I believe you will find this useful,’ said she.

And, promptly, I did.

***

I went to bed early. The sickness took a few hours to fade, and though, in the wake of it, I felt more restored to my usual self — if a bit swollen, like an overfull sponge — well, I still felt shaky. Vomiting a lot does that to a person.

Besides, I had a big day coming up, after all. A big week, maybe even two. Going to bed early and getting plenty of sleep would be the responsible thing to do, wouldn’t it? The sort of thing an adult, capable, sensible Ves would do. So I did that. Feeling, may I tell you, rather smug about it.

I woke up abruptly, groggy and heavy-eyed, not because my alarm was singing to me but because my phone was. Loudly.

Someone was calling.

Also, someone else was looming over me in the nearly pitch dark and urgently shaking my shoulder.

‘Sorry,’ muttered Jay, stepping back. ‘Ves. Stop screaming. It’s me.’

‘Jay, what—’

I didn’t finish the sentence because he was shoving my phone into my hands. I looked at the lock screen.

An antique silver chocolate pot was there displayed, steam curling from its spout.

Milady calling.

A different kind of panic clutched at my heart. ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing’s wrong. You’re just late.’

Having uttered these words of doom, Jay retreated.

Late? For what?

‘Hello, Milady,’ I said into the phone, speaking very calmly despite the pounding of my heart. I was late. Late for something Milady wanted. Shit.

‘I apologise for the lateness of the hour,’ said she, crisply.

‘It isn’t… morning?’ I said, fuzzily.

‘It is ten minutes after midnight and you are needed downstairs.’

Typical. The one time I act like a grown-up and go to bed early, then I’m called for a secret meeting at midnight.

‘I’ll be right down,’ I promised.

‘We’re waiting in the parlour.’ She hung up, before I could ask where “the parlour” was.

I knew though, really. There’s only one parlour at Home where Milady might hold a top-secret meeting at the Witching Hour.

House’s Favourite Room.

I threw back the duvet and launched myself out of bed.

***

I made it downstairs in record time, so it was a particularly unfortunate time to get lost in the labyrinthine corridors of House.

In the end, they sent Jay out to find me.

‘Sorry,’ I said, feeling flustered. Jay had been obliged to come and find me twice in fifteen minutes, and the first time I’d screamed in his face. I now stood in the midst of a crossroads, with three passages branching off from it, and I genuinely couldn’t remember ever having seen such a place before in my life.

Maybe I hadn’t. House has its mysterious ways.

‘To be fair,’ said Jay, gently taking my arm, and towing me down the left-hand fork, ‘I ought to have waited.’

‘What’s going on?’ I asked, trotting gamely beside Jay as he whisked us both past innumerable doors, all closed. ‘What’s the meeting about?’

‘Sh,’ Jay breathed. ‘You’ll find out in a minute.’

My, it really was a top-secret meeting. I obediently shut my mouth, and didn’t open it again until Jay thrust open a door and led me into House’s favourite room. It’s a snug little chamber, dating from somewhere in the sixteen-hundreds, and unchanged since. It has the type of grandfather clock that’s determined to be heard over any amount of noise, and I could clearly hear the resonant tick-tick of the clock over the low murmur of conversation.

Gathered around the little white tea table, deep in mugs of hot chocolate, were: Indira, Zareen and Emellana Rogan. Em had seated herself beneath a gilt-framed portrait of a troll lady in seventeenth-century court dress; the same kind I’d recently worn myself, at Mandridore. I couldn’t remember ever seeing that painting before, and I wanted to ask about it, but this meeting was both secret and urgent and that’d have to wait for another time. Focus, Ves.

‘Aha,’ I said, taking an empty chair across from Zareen. ‘Team Improbable assembles once again.’

I heard Jay snort as he took the chair next to me. ‘Speak for yourself. I prefer “Team Unstoppable”, thanks.’

‘So far, so good,’ said Zareen. ‘We remain unstopped.’

‘Which is the subject of this meeting,’ Milady put in. ‘Tangentially, at least.’

I wondered idly why we were all having this conversation in the dead of night, in a room whose existence is unknown to the majority of our esteemed colleagues.

Then I decided to be less idle about it.

‘This whole thing is developing a pleasing air of Mission Impossible,’ I observed. ‘High stakes. Dream team. The toppest of top secret.’

‘It has come to my attention that rumours of Orlando’s work have penetrated considerably further than I had anticipated,’ agreed Milady. ‘And since I can no longer guarantee that such rumours will not spread beyond the borders of the Society, I have felt obliged to take further steps to preserve the secrecy of your assignment.’

In other words: a previous mission had gone rather awry when somebody (who shall remain nameless) had passed information — and other things — to Ancestria Magicka, people who ought by rights to be our allies but whose methods and goals made them soundly unpopular with us.

And since Ancestria Magicka had made it their business to interfere with us at every opportunity, Milady wasn’t taking any chances with this one.

‘How about the Court?’ I asked, looking at Em.

‘As far as is generally known, I am away consulting on a routine matter of little import,’ she replied. ‘Unrelated, I might add, to the Society.’

‘So you arrived here in the dark of the night and snuck in?’ I asked. ‘That’s fantastic.

Em awarded me one of her faint, wry smiles. ‘It was rather fun.’

‘How far will this misdirection work?’ Jay put in. ‘After all, everyone seems to know that the regulator’s ready. And then the Dream Team, as Ves put it, is immediately dispatched to parts unknown, taking Orlando’s assistant along? The connection’s obvious.’

‘Indira has put it about that you and she are going home for a family event,’ said Milady.

‘She has?’ Jay sounded startled, as well he might. His sister’s talents may be myriad, and uniformly impressive, but talking wasn’t one of them. Let alone telling glib and convincing lies to good effect.

Indira unwittingly bore out this portrait of her character by saying nothing. She only looked rather uncomfortable.

‘I, meanwhile, am feeling terrible,’ said Zareen. ‘It’s been a real struggle being back at work, so I am checking myself back in to rehab at the School of Weird. In fact, I left yesterday.’

‘What about me?’ I put in, in rather a small voice. I’d already gone through the list of believable excuses that might be spun to explain my absence from Home, and it was pretty short. If I wasn’t at Home, I was out on assignment for the Society. That was it.

‘You are presently engaged in a solo assignment in Leicester,’ Milady informed me. ‘Tracking down a rare book of possible interest to Valerie.’

‘Oh, that was a kind thought. Val will enjoy lying for me.’

‘In fact, you also left this evening.’

‘So my continued presence at Home is shrouded in such mystery even I didn’t know about it. Masterful.’

‘So we’re sneaking out in the morning,’ Jay concluded.

‘In fact,’ said Milady, ‘you’re sneaking out in thirty-five minutes.’

‘What?’ I sat up. ‘But we’re not ready.’

‘All necessary preparations have been made.’

‘I’m sorry to be the problem person, but I haven’t finished my preparations.’ I thought I’d have time in the morning to perform the chaotic ritual I like to call “packing”.

‘House has packed your things,’ Milady informed me.

After over a decade at the Society, I thought I was incapable of being surprised any more. It seems I was wrong.

‘My clothes have been packed by a country house,’ I said, just to make sure I’d got that right.

‘I trust you will find everything in order.’

‘I cannot say that the question of House’s gender has ever troubled me much, if it can be supposed to have one,’ I mused. ‘But if someone’s been going through my underwear drawer then I hope she’s a lady.’

Milady let that pass, with her usual superb grace. Or, possibly, indifference. ‘Indira has secured the regulator from Orlando,’ she continued.

I had thought Indira looked unusually tense, even for her. She sat ramrod straight, with her hands clasped tightly together, and I suppose I’d attributed this to the startling news that she’d recently been obliged to lie through her teeth to her esteemed colleagues.

But, no. She had the regulator. She probably had it on her right now, for there was no way anybody was going to take that thing out of Orlando’s secure workroom and then leave it lying around somewhere.

I now perceived that she had the wild-eyed look of a woman sitting on an unexploded bomb, and everything made a lot more sense.

I tried to soothe her with an encouraging smile, with the usual lack of effect.

‘Can I see it?’ I blurted.

Indira shook her head. ‘It’s secured.’

That told me exactly nothing, but okay. I wouldn’t be seeing the device until we were ready to use it.

‘Your instructions are as follows,’ continued Milady. ‘Proceed to Silvessen with all possible caution and secrecy. Please conduct a thorough appraisal of the conditions there, to be submitted via report upon your return. If you judge it safe, then Indira will deploy the regulator. You will remain long enough to observe its effects and manage any unforeseen occurrences. Once you are certain that Silvessen is hale and secure, you will remove the regulator and return Home.’

We had questions.

‘Caution?’ said I. ‘Are we expecting some kind of threat?’

‘Unforeseen occurrences?’ asked Jay. ‘Like what?’

‘Remove the regulator?’ said Em. ‘Surely that would defeat the purpose.’

Milady waited until we had finished and coolly replied: ‘Caution is always wise, Ves, even if the concept is somewhat alien to you.’

Fair cop.

She added, after a moment, ‘And I cannot guarantee there will be no threats. The enforced secrecy of this mission is a consequence of that.’

Fair cop again. Lovely.

‘Jay, if occurrences are defined as “unforeseen” then they are, by definition, a mystery. I leave it in your capable hands to manage anything that should prove troublesome, and to maximise your chances of doing so successfully I have assigned you Zareen.’

Zareen grinned. ‘Don’t worry,’ she murmured to Jay. ‘I’ll look after you.’

Jay scowled. But it was a measure of his improved relationship with Zareen that he stopped there.

‘As for removing the regulator,’ Milady continued. ‘Yes, its removal will in all likelihood reverse whatever effects its installation might produce. And if those effects are desirable, then it will be a pity to do so. But this is only a prototype, and your assignment is only to test it, and deliver a full report of its workings to Orlando’s department.’

Emellana accepted this with a nod.

‘Are there any other questions?’ Milady waited, politely, while we all scrolled through myriad possible enquiries, and dismissed them as unworthy of her attention.

‘Very well, then,’ she concluded. ‘I wish you all possible success, and please do exercise caution.’

We filed out, rather like a class of dismissed schoolchildren.

Only once we had put some distance between ourselves and the parlour — and, hopefully, Milady’s capacity to overhear — did I own up.

‘I have something to tell you,’ I said, in a half-whisper.

Jay cast me a sideways look. ‘Is this something to do with your abrupt and dramatic disappearance into Ophelia’s cottage earlier?’

‘Yes, and thank you for not haring after me.’

‘I was tempted.’

‘But you accepted that Ves cannot be stopped, and abandoned all pursuit as futile.’

‘Exactly. So what dark deed did you commit?’

‘I’ve, um,’ I sunk my voice even further, ‘I’ve borrowed Merlin’s powers.’

Jay stopped dead, halfway down a chilly corridor, and stared at me. ‘Borrowed.’

‘Yes.’

‘Like an old coat.’

‘It fits pretty well,’ I said, defensively.

‘I have questions,’ said Jay.

‘Me too,’ put in Zareen. ‘Why did you do that, Ves? Do you know something we don’t? Expecting something we can’t handle?’

‘No, and no,’ I said firmly. ‘It’s as Milady said. We can’t know what to expect. And, anyway, I wanted an opportunity to try things out in the field.’

‘And Merlin let you.’ That was Jay, solidly disbelieving.

‘She did.’ I flexed my fingers, which were tingling a bit with suppressed energy. ‘If this is borrowing a coat, it’s a supercharged dreamcoat of dizzying potential and I may be experiencing some regrets.’

Jay smirked, the weasel.

‘I’m sure you will put it to good use,’ said Em, bless her. How loyal.

How naïve.

‘Oh no,’ I said, beaming. ‘I have every intention of using my powers for Evil.’

Dancing and Disaster: 2

‘You look like a parti-coloured rain cloud,’ was Zareen’s comment upon my appearance at her door.

She has a little cupboard of a room in the west wing, sort of near the library. It stood empty for over a month while Zareen was off enduring — er, benefiting from — her own, post-mission treatment back at the School of Weird. If I’ve had a tough time of it lately, try talking to Zar. By the end of a certain few, chaotic weeks, she was half out of her wits and I hadn’t seen the whites of her eyes in a while.

She’s better now. I think.

‘I’m grumpy,’ I agreed, plopping down into the only unoccupied chair in Zareen’s tiny little room. I produced a few raindrops in illustration of my point, and they rained with cheerful greyness all over the faded crimson carpet.

‘Let me guess…’

She was lounging in her chair as was her usual wont, her booted feet up on a corner of her disordered desk. The green streaks in her black hair were brighter than usual; freshly dyed. She’d lost the inky shadows under her eyes, mostly, and she was a normal-for-her kind of pale, not bone-white.

Most of all, she’d got her withering sarcasm back, as she proceeded to demonstrate.

‘Word is the regulator’s ready for testing, which ought to please you. But you’re not pleased. So, you’re officially too special and important to be sent out with it, is that it? Poor Ves.’

I glowered at her. ‘Milady’s reluctant to interrupt my studies.’

‘With Merlin. The actual, literal Merlin, with whom many a person would kill to study.’

This is what I like about Zareen. She’s bracingly realistic.

‘You make a good point,’ I allowed.

‘I’ll swap places with you.’ She laughed at the look on my face, showing off a new tongue stud: poison-green and glittering. ‘Not for real. It’s not like Ophelia wouldn’t notice.’

‘No, that’s actually a great idea,’ I said earnestly. ‘Merlin’s got such a lot to teach. Everybody should benefit from it. Not just me.’

‘Said in no selfish spirit whatsoever.’

‘Zero self-interest involved,’ I agreed. ‘Not one iota.’

Zareen shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t say no to a lecture or two, but good luck getting it past Ophelia. And Milady.’

Ophelia was rather retiring. Curiously so, for a person with her kind of power. She was obviously most comfortable in her own cottage, teaching one person at a time (preferably me). She wasn’t the type to volunteer herself as a lecturer.

I had a notion Milady might like the idea, however.

‘Wouldn’t get me out of Tuesdays, though,’ I said, regretfully. ‘I want only one glorious, glittering week…’

‘Risking your life for the good of Queen and Country?’

‘See. You get me.’

Zareen shook her head. ‘Ves. Can you think of even a single time someone has seriously said no to you?’

I sat up a bit. ‘Loads. Milady often says—’

She held up a hand. ‘I’ll rephrase. One single time someone has seriously said no to you, and you didn’t just go and do it anyway. And get away with it.’

I dutifully thought.

‘Nope.’

‘There you go.’ Zareen quirked a brow at me.

I took this to mean, Go do your Ves thing.

She was right. I was going, one way or another. I’d rather do it with Milady’s official sanction than without, but whatever.

I felt better.

‘Hey, maybe we can take you along, too,’ I offered, brightly smiling. My idea of gratitude. Not everybody appreciates it.

‘Seems unlikely there’d be cause,’ was her only reply. And she had reason. I mean, Zareen’s particular talents might more rightly be termed peculiar.

That said.

Famous last words. 

***

I worked my magic on Ophelia next (the charismatic kind, not the enchantment kind. The former might not succeed, but the latter would get me squashed like a bug).

I found her intransigent.

‘But you’d be wonderful,’ I protested, smiling in the face of a flint-eyed glare from my usually mild-mannered tutor. ‘Think how much everyone would learn!’

I’d hopped through to the Merlin cottage via the personal gateway I have in my room. Ophelia made it for me, even drew a pretty silver star to mark the location. I chose to interpret that as a mark of special favour, not merely a practicality. I mean, she could have just drawn a big, black ‘X’.

I found her engaged in study, as was common. That, or she was indulging in her secret(ish) passion for Georgette Heyer novels. She was tucked up in an overstuffed armchair and I couldn’t see much of the book she was clutching, except that it looked rather ragged.

Having swept in like the whirlwind I am, I’d started arguing for the lecture immediately. ‘Ophelia! Zareen and I had the best idea.’

It all went downhill from there, but, to be fair, that was according to plan.

‘I am no lecturer.’ Ophelia shut her book with a decisive, and disapproving, snap. I caught a glimpse of the title before she hid it away. The Talisman Ring. ‘And,’ she added, somewhat ruining the impact of a statement so sternly intoned, ‘Merlin’s arts are not for everyone.’

‘True,’ I agreed. ‘Just for you. And me.’

She looked at me with an expression I tried not to interpret as second thoughts on that latter point.

‘I understand,’ I said hastily. ‘Wouldn’t dream of pushing.’

She waited, sceptical.

I suppose, after a couple of months, she’s getting used to me.

‘Can I have next Tuesday off?’ I said, possibly rushing my fence a bit. ‘And maybe the one after that?’

She blinked, and her hauteur deepened. ‘For what purpose?’

‘There’s an important assignment I need to be involved with. Might take a week or two.’

‘Oh. Of course.’

It was my turn for a surprised silence. ‘Really?’

‘Certainly. I am not so stern a task-master as all that, I hope. There is time.’

‘Oh. Well. Thank you.’

She studied me. ‘Your first proposal was a deliberate attempt to unsettle me so I would agree more readily to your second.’

I opened my mouth, hoping some glib defence would spring easily to my lips.

It didn’t.

‘You needn’t have gone to such lengths. While the prospect of your temporary absence seems trivial in comparison with the horrible prospect of my performing lectures for the benefit of a hundred reluctant students, I would have agreed anyway.’

‘I see that now,’ I said in a small voice.

‘Consequently, the complimentary nerve-shattering was unnecessary.’

I mulled that over. She was right. Why had I imagined I’d have to manoeuvre her into it? It was Milady who arranged my schedule — and held decided opinions about it, at that.

Perhaps I’d got so used to dealing with my mother, I’d forgotten that not everybody said ‘no’ as a matter of course.

‘I apologise,’ I said. ‘Another time I will simply enquire.’

To my relief, she began to look more amused than affronted. ‘I perceive that few people ever really refuse you anything,’ she said, curiously echoing what Zareen had said earlier in the day.

I began to wonder if I was viewed as a spoiled, wheedling child by the Society at large, and decided not to pursue the subject any further.

‘Just my mother,’ I offered. ‘It doesn’t stick.’

***

Three days passed; days in which Indira remained close-mouthed about the regulator, Milady did not summon me for a mission briefing, and Jay did not return.

By Friday my mood had gone from grey and drizzly to storm warnings, take cover.

By Sunday I was out in the unicorn grove, sulking. I’d love to say something more flattering, like, acknowledging my feelings and engaging in judicious self-care, but I was sulking. The ears were down, the tail was drooping, I was eating grass, for goodness’ sake.

So when Jay suddenly appeared, the sun came out again in my sad little world and I went to meet him all a-frisk.

‘And there she is,’ said Jay, striding into the heart of Addie’s grove and smiling. I think. I may not have mentioned this, but human expression can look a little different when you aren’t presently being one. The stretching of Jay’s face in sideways directions, the baring of the teeth; these registered with me as good and odd in about equal measure.

I gambolled coquettishly towards him, tossing my mane. If there was a just goddess in attendance then there ought to have been an opportune gust of wind at just that moment, blowing back my hair, and a ray of sunlight like a star gleaming at the tip of my horn.

There probably wasn’t.

There definitely wasn’t, for Jay’s smile disappeared and he took a step back. ‘Wait. Are you okay? What are you doing? Is there something wrong with your legs?’

I suppose unicorn mannerisms are no more easily comprehensible to a human. So much for my joyous prance of welcome. I sniffed and shoved him with my nose.

He grinned and stroked it for me. ‘Do you fancy coming out, or should I come back next week?’

I answered this question by setting off for the exit at a brisk trot. Jay had to run to keep up with me, which he did with enviable grace. He looked good. Like always. Dressed in jeans and his beloved black jacket. Slightly tousled hair, but the look suited him.

‘Great, so,’ Jay said, keeping pace with me without apparent effort, ‘what do we know about Silvessen?

What? I shook my head. Nothing. What are you talking about.

‘That’s what I thought. Which makes it the perfect choice, I suppose, because if even you don’t know anything about it then probably no one’s very attached to the place. Means we can do some pretty thorough testing and just, see what the results are, no great pressure. I— uh, Ves? Wait?’

This speech confused me to the point of frustration, for I had no idea what he was talking about and no way of saying so.

So, I took off for the exit at a dead gallop, leaving Jay to high-tail it after me. So to speak. Oh, what kind of a unicorn would he be, if he could be one? Dark and sexy. No question.

Having wound my way through the maze of silver-leaved bushes, roses that shouldn’t have been in flower, draping willow trees and other faerie paraphernalia with practised ease, I raced over the threshold of Addie’s grove and collapsed in a Ves-shaped heap on the other side of it.

Jay took another couple of minutes to reach me, time which I spent checking that my clothing was correct (yes), arranging my disordered hair (important) and regaining my composure.

So, when Jay burst out of the grove, looking windblown and wild-eyed and, I judged, confused, I was able to say, with a certain icy cool: ‘Testing? Testing what?’

‘The, um. The regu— Milady hasn’t told you?’

‘No. She has not.’

Jay stopped dead. ‘Oh.’

Oh indeed.

This was it, then. My request had been denied. I’d been excluded from the mission I had a unique right to be part of — even Milady had agreed that no one was better suited to the job.

And, okay, I was going to find a way to go along anyway, sneak if I had to. But, still. Everyone else thought I should be left out.

I felt like I’d been punched.

‘It’s… probably because of your training,’ Jay offered. ‘It’s really important.’

‘That’s what Milady said, when I asked her if I could go last week.’

Jay nodded. ‘It is really important,’ he said again.

I felt too forlorn to reply. I wasn’t even angry, just gutted. Jay was going, Indira would be going, someone from the Troll Court, most likely — maybe even Emellana Rogan, my personal hero.

And I’d be stuck at home, going deep with myself so I could understand just how much magick and lacerated feelings were lurking down there.

‘I’m sorry, Ves,’ said Jay, apparently reading some fraction of this in my face.

I nodded and turned away. Back Home, then. I had homework for Ophelia that I hadn’t finished, because I was hoping I wouldn’t need to for a couple of weeks. Then, on Tuesday, lessons. Or… or a rule-and-law-defying stealth pursuit of Jay’s mission to Silvessen.

I was losing my enthusiasm to even try the latter — and that wasn’t good.

Jay walked beside me in silence for a couple of minutes. I wanted to ask him how his latest assignment went, or how he was doing today, but words didn’t come.

Eventually he said, ‘No. You’re right, it isn’t okay.’

‘What?’

‘You should be with us.’

I tried a smile. ‘Surely the law-abiding Jay isn’t suggesting I break ranks and hare off after you.’

‘I’m not suggesting that.’

‘Oh.’

‘I’m suggesting I’ll refuse to go unless you’re coming too.’

‘Oh!’

I sneaked a sideways look at Jay. He had his mulish face on, jaw set, eyes steely.

‘Jay,’ I said. ‘I appreciate that.’

He merely nodded, brusquely, and strode on.

This time, it was me who had to trot a bit to keep up with him.

Dancing and Disaster: 1

The jumping pas de sissonne was lovely, but it wasn’t until Jay executed a passable saut de basque sodecha that I knew we were likely to win. He soared about six feet up (aided, conceivably, by a wee touch of levitation magick), performed a three-sixty-degree pirouette in mid-air while doing the splits, I mean, I ask you. Who could possibly top that?

Not our opponents, anyway. No chance.

‘Let’s not get too comfortable,’ I warned a winded and sweating Jay. ‘More to come.’

Jay hadn’t the breath to speak, but the look he gave me said enough.

‘Not yet,’ I said, soothingly. ‘Rest first.’

I waited, with a hopeful smile, as Jay fought for breath. When, at last, he stopped gasping for air, he said, ‘No. No. Next time’s your turn.’

‘That’s fair,’ I said, cautious-like.

‘I want a double tour en l’air, at least, Ves.’

‘No can do.’

Jay looked at me.

‘I might be able to go as high as a single.’

‘Ves, I’ve just performed any number of manoeuvres of which I am not capable and my poor body will be paying for it for weeks.’

‘Sorry,’ I said, momentarily shame-faced. ‘But you looked fine.

Jay was not mollified. ‘Double tour en l’air.’

‘Okay.’ I was meek and contrite. ‘Anything for you.’

Jay shook his head. ‘I’d ask how we even got here,’ he panted, turning away from me. ‘But what would be the point? We followed Ves. That’s how we got here.’

Since you might be wondering the same sort of thing, permit me to explain myself.

It wasn’t entirely my fault. Honest.

***

The regulator is ready.

October came. Mid October, when the intense heat of summer had finally packed itself off and I’d spent several weeks as an apprentice to Merlin (yes, the Merlin, even if she wasn’t quite as most of us expected). It was going pretty well, but we weren’t done, not by a long shot.

Time waits for no man, however, and neither does Orlando, for the rumours started to circulate. The regulator is ready.

It’s supposed to be a top-secret project, of course, so there shouldn’t have been hearsay. Where there’s life there’s gossip, though, and there’s plenty of life at the Society.

‘Is it true?’ I asked Milady. She hadn’t summoned me. I’d invited myself, clambered all the way up the stairs to her tower-top room, knocked on the door, then waited over half an hour for an invitation to enter.

What can I say. I’d spent weeks and weeks at Home, and, while I’d had the by no means uninteresting diversion of Tuesdays at Merlin’s cottage to entertain me, I was starting to get antsy. I was brimming with a small fortune in magick and I had nothing much to spend it on.

I’m a tool. Use me.

‘I require more information in order to answer your question, Ves,’ said Milady. ‘Is what true?’

‘You know what I mean.’ I said this in a half-whisper, aware that I was dealing in information contraband.

Milady did not dignify this comment with an answer.

I kicked at the rich, blue carpet with one toe, feeling uncharacteristically annoyed. ‘The regulator,’ I said, capitulating. ‘I hear it’s ready.’

‘Oh? And where did you hear that?’

I had to think for a second. ‘Not Indira, of course. She’s far too good to break faith with Orlando. But Nell mentioned it at lunch. And Luke at breakfast. And I heard Molly and Dave H. talking about it in the common room. Oh, and Aki said—’

‘I see.’ Milady sounded weary. The Society might be full of brilliant people doing important work, but we were like a bunch of rowdy, recalcitrant children sometimes. Poor Milady’s hair must be grey to the last strand. I heard her take a deep breath. ‘Officially, I can confirm nothing.’

‘Of course.’

‘But off the record, yes. Orlando has recently informed me that he has a functional prototype and he feels it will soon be time to test it in the field.’

Test it in the field. Words to strike delight into the heart of a Ves, and probably a Jay, too. Maybe. Hopefully. I bounced a bit on my toes. ‘I volunteer!’

‘I am well aware of your right of interest in this matter, Ves.’

That wasn’t quite a yes. I frowned. ‘You… you are planning to send me on this mission, aren’t you?’

‘How are your studies with Ophelia progressing?’

Not an answer. This didn’t bode well.

‘Excellently,’ I said, with perfect truth. ‘She’s very patient with me.’

I make myself sound like a difficult student, but I’m not, not really. Not in the usual fashion. I am just eager, and brimming with enthusiasm, and I want to know everything yesterday. One cannot learn all of Merlin’s myriad and ancient arts by last Tuesday, however, even with the best will in the world. Ophelia-who-is-Merlin bears gracefully with my impatience. Usually.

‘I am reluctant to suspend your studies at this time,’ said Milady.

My heart sank.

‘It would only be for a little while!’

‘It may not be. Your future role as Merlin is important.’

‘So’s the regulator! And who better than Jay and me to test it? We’ve been part of this from the beginning. We know everything about it. Who could possibly do a better job?’

‘No one, Ves, that I grant you. Nonetheless—’

‘Please,’ I interrupted. ‘Please?’ My heart was dropping through the floor, and I was becoming seriously worried that Milady might leave me out. Might even send Jay and Indira without me.

There are times when I’ll beg, if I have to. I’m not proud.

‘I will consider the matter.’

I hoped I didn’t imagine the slight softening of her tone.

Pity that she’s a disembodied voice. I couldn’t read her face to determine how sympathetic she was to my cause.

‘I’ll be on my best behaviour,’ I promised. ‘Strictly no shenanigans.’

Well, it wasn’t really a lie. I said it in good faith. At the time.

***

To be honest with you, I’d said my studies with Ophelia were going well, but it’s a little hard to gauge my actual progress.

She wasn’t really teaching me anything solid. It’s not like there’s a set curriculum for Merlinhood, with a couple of exams at the end, so I know when I’m ready. She was teaching me along more abstract, wishy-washy — one might even say airy-fairy — lines, like: how to go deep with myself, so I truly know where I’m at and what I’m capable of. How to sense and manipulate my own magick, on a far deeper and more complex level than I’ve ever even heard of before. How to understand my own capacity — and safely exceed it, at need. How to sense and manipulate magick external to myself. How to draw on the world around me. And a fair bit of what one might call magickal ethics, according to Ophelia’s admittedly peculiar world view.

It’s not quite what they teach you at the University.

I’m already a far better practitioner than I used to be. I used to need a little magickal Curio to change the colour of my hair, as simple a thing as that is. I don’t need such tools now, to the probable relief of Ornelle at Stores. The number of objects I need to, er, borrow from the Society’s stockroom in order to do my job has drastically decreased.

But when it comes to Merlin’s arts, the small stuff is inconsequential. Ophelia is teaching me to handle big stuff with big magick and I have no idea when that process will be complete.

To be even more honest, I’m not in a hurry for that day to come. Eventually, she’ll decide I’m ready, even for the really big stuff. I’ll be given the keys to all the ancient magick she possesses, trusted to use my powers for Good, not for Evil, and then… she’ll disappear.

Leaving me to fight the good fight for British magick without her guidance.

Gulp.

Maybe I wasn’t sorry for the prospect of a temporary suspension of study. It’s been an overwhelming few months. I’ve changed in ways I never imagined possible. I’m wielding far more magick — and far more responsibility — than I know what to do with.

It’d be nice to put it all down for a week or two and go back to being Just Ves again. Just a field agent with the Society for Magickal Heritage, surrounded by my excellent and capable peers, achieving remarkable things in unorthodox ways and making stuff happen.

Blissful thought.

I wanted to talk about it.

Jay was out on a research trip with Melissa’s team again, so I couldn’t bitch at him about the unspeakable trials of my life.

Val was closeted with Merlin’s grimoire, the loan of which I had successfully negotiated with Ophelia and Crystobel Elvyng. I had thereby secured Val’s Eternal Gratitude for myself, which was no inconsiderable blessing. I had by the same means lost her attention for the foreseeable future, which was a pity.

I could go and talk to Rob. I’ve been doing that quite a lot, lately. He’s a good friend and a good doctor and he has a nice, calming way about him that’s very much appreciated in a crisis.

I’ve also had a few appointments with Grace, our head-rearranger, and she’s excellent too. But they both use words like anxiety and coping systems rather a lot (usually prefaced with words like “unhealthy”). Much as I appreciate their help, their approach is medical rather than friendly; they treat my conditions rather than sympathising with my plight. If I wanted someone to bitch with, Rob wasn’t going to be the ideal choice.

So, I went down to the Toil and Trouble division.

The Magick of Merlin: 19

Two days later, and I had my gateway straight into the heart of Merlin’s grove all set up. Ophelia had constructed one for me in my own room, with a silver-shimmering pentagram drawn onto the floor by her own hand.

‘Oooh,’ I’d said, enthralled. ‘What does the star do?’

‘Shows you where it is,’ Ophelia had answered as she straightened. ‘So you don’t wander onto it by mistake.’

‘…Right.’

I hadn’t yet used it, except once to test that it worked. My apprenticeship would be confined to Tuesdays, except when I was out on assignment. We’re beginning next week.

After Ophelia left, my apprehensions reached such a height that I spent a full thirty-six hours out in the unicorn glade with Addie. Human doubts and fears don’t strike you the same way when you have hooves, a horn and a tail. I recommend it.

They all came flooding back, though, as soon as I regained my human shape. I felt bowed down under the weight of it, as though with my human hands and face and feet I’d also donned a heavy mantle of doubt.

I resigned myself to an unquiet couple of weeks.

Worse, I couldn’t even impose on Jay. Not that I should, of course. I’ve been making all kinds of resolutions in that direction of late; something about not behaving as though Jay is there for my personal convenience (even if he does call himself my sidekick). Jay has enough stuff of his own to deal with; he doesn’t deserve to have to support me through so much of mine.

Whether or not I can manage to stick to this praiseworthy resolution will have to go a little longer untested, for when I next saw him, he’d donned jacket and boots, and carried his motorcycle helmet in one hand. I bumped into him in the corridor outside my room; apparently he’d been on his way to see me.

‘Ves,’ he said with a smile. ‘I just came to let you know I’m out for a bit.’

‘Oh!’ I said brightly. ‘That’s great. Where are you off to?’

‘Family time.’

I nodded. He looked all set to go, and a certain restlessness about him suggested he was eager to be off. I confined my response to some murmured platitudes, and waited for him to be gone.

But he stood dithering.

‘I’ve got sort of… well, a date,’ he said.

‘Oh!’

‘I suppose you could call it that.’

Are you calling it that?’

‘I mean… that’s the idea. Yes.’

‘But…?’ I ventured, sensing a further hesitation.

‘Erm, it’s of an unusual kind,’ he said, not quite meeting my eye. ‘She’s the daughter of a friend of my parents. We knew each other pretty well as kids, and… well, I met her again several weeks ago.’

‘And hit it off,’ I said, beaming. ‘Great!’

‘Something like that.’

Jay looked fabulously uncomfortable, and I really couldn’t figure out why. ‘I’m sure you’ll have a great time,’ I enthused, possibly overdoing the delight just a bit.

He shrugged. ‘Our parents would be — I mean, they’re really into the idea, and…’ He shrugged again.

Why Jay was going into so much detail was as incomprehensible to me as his palpable discomfort. A frown was gathering upon my brow, which I hastily smoothed out. It wouldn’t do to seem displeased. ‘Are you okay?’ I said.

‘Yes!’ he said, flashing a megawatt smile. ‘I’m great. It’ll be great, I’m sure.’

‘Sure it will. I bet she’s lovely.’

‘Hope so,’ said Jay, so softly I almost didn’t catch it. He cleared his throat. ‘You’ll be seeing Alban?’

‘Not to my knowledge.’

‘Aha.’ He nodded. I wondered if that was either approval or relief I detected in his mostly impassive face, and gave up the attempt. The finer points of Jay’s inner feelings are too hard to read. ‘Something else?’ he said.

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘Are you doing something else?’

‘Not really. Just waiting to get started with Merlin. Might see if I can find out how Orlando’s getting on with the argent. You know.’

‘Work, then.’

‘Always.’ I smiled.

‘Ves. Don’t you ever leave Home?’

‘All the time,’ I said, frowning again. ‘You’re usually with me.’

‘I mean, for reasons other than work.’

‘Of course I do. Loads.’

‘Such as that time you…?’

I thought and thought, but failed to recall a single recent incident that wasn’t essentially work-related. Even that time we’d hared off at my mother’s request had been more to do with my Society position than my status as her daughter. ‘Well, maybe I haven’t in a while, true.’

‘How about ever?’

I folded my arms, a defensive gesture if ever I saw one, but I couldn’t help it. It was done before I was aware. ‘Just what are you getting at?’

He held out a pacifying hand. ‘Nothing. Sorry. I’m not trying to be critical. It’s just that I…’

‘Yes?’ I said.

‘…wonder if you’re happy. That’s all. And now that you’re to be taking on a challenging new role…’

‘Of course I’m happy,’ I said instantly. ‘I love my job. I love the Society.’

‘Most people have more than just work.’

‘Most people don’t have my job,’ I countered. ‘It has everything I need.’

‘Right.’ He nodded.

‘I may not have family gatherings, or siblings, or parents who set me up with the hot offspring of their friends, but I don’t need that stuff. I’ve got House, and everyone in it.’

He nodded again, but instead of responding to my litany of self-justification, he said: ‘Sometime, I’d… I’d really like you to meet my family.’

I blinked. ‘What?’

‘You’ve already met Rina and Indira,’ he rushed on. ‘You’d really like Anaya and Dev, I promise, and they’d love you. So would my parents.’

‘Jay…’

‘There’s Diwali in the autumn and we’d love you to join us.’

‘Are you… are you trying to share your family with me?’

He grinned sheepishly. ‘Not exactly?’

‘I hope this isn’t a pity party.’

‘Pity? Never.’

I nodded cautiously, aware that I was eyeing him with deep suspicion.

‘It’s just a thought,’ he said. ‘Think it over.’ He clapped me awkwardly on my upper arm and took off, his gait super casual.

‘Thank you,’ I called after him. ‘Have a great date.’

Jay waved without turning around. In another instant, he’d turned the corner and vanished beyond sight.

It was my turn to dither. I thought about visiting Val, but I’d bothered her enough lately. She had work to do. Plus, since I had as yet failed to secure the grimoire for her, I wasn’t sure I was up for another grilling on that subject.

I suppressed an unworthy urge to text Alban, and angle for an invitation. Jay’s observations had bothered me a bit, for all that I’d denied every one of them. And if he was going to have a date, well… couldn’t I have one, too?

Not with the married prince of Mandridore. No. I stood with my phone in hand for two minutes, finger hovering over Alban’s number, before resolutely putting it away and striding off.

I didn’t have any particular destination in mind, but two things happened on the way to nowhere.

The first was a bounding bundle of dandelion fluff, butter-yellow and yipping with delight.

Pup!’ I squealed, scooping her up, and burying my face in her soft fur. She’s been scarce since Miranda came back, and I’ve resented that a bit. But I haven’t interfered. Whatever my personal feelings about Miranda, I know she takes the best possible care of Pup. Probably better even than I do.

I heard Miranda’s voice, then, from somewhere at the other end of the corridor. ‘Ah, good, she found you,’ she said. ‘Jay thought you might like to see her.’

A tiny tear prickled behind my eye. Jay had arranged this?

‘Have you missed me, you bad Pup?’ I whispered into her fur. She certainly behaved as though she had; she was squirming with joy, and doing her best to lick my ear, my nose and my eyeballs all at the same time.

‘Thanks,’ I called, just as Miranda darted away again. She’d looked almost as uncomfortable as Jay, and that was definitely a hasty retreat she’d beaten. A faint sensation of guilt added itself to the roiling mess of my emotions. I’d made my resentment towards Miranda so obvious, she wouldn’t spend more than two minutes in the same room with me.

And I still didn’t really feel like I wanted her to.

Sighing, I set Pup down and proceeded on my way. Things certainly looked more positive when I had Goodie Goodfellow frisking along at my heels, and I sent Jay a silent thank you. This girl he was seeing had better be amazing.

I wandered along aimlessly, my thoughts far from Home, until at length I was halted by the sound of someone saying my name.

It was Rob. I’d ended up at the sanitorium. The door stood open, and there he was, on doctor duty today and smiling a welcome at me. ‘Morning,’ he said. ‘Were you coming to see me?’

I hesitated. ‘You know what,’ I said. ‘I think I was, yes.’

In went Pup and I. I took the plain pine chair he offered me, and Pup promptly jumped into my lap. She stood there, wiggling furiously as her tail wagged, and as I bent to pet her she barely avoided stabbing out my eye with her pointy horn.

‘You spoke of my maybe seeing Grace,’ I said, not looking at Rob. ‘A bit ago. Is… is that offer still open?’

‘Anytime,’ he said. ‘I can call her today and tell her you’re coming.’

I nodded my assent.

‘Right.’ He scrawled a quick note for himself, then sat back and surveyed me with his measuring gaze. ‘Anything I can do for you?’

I felt the warning prick of tears again, and could almost have immolated myself with frustration. Damn it, when had I turned into this weeping mess of a person?

‘It’s just tiredness,’ I said thickly. ‘And — and I’m a bit overwrought. It will go away, won’t it?’

He nodded with all the confidence I could wish for. ‘It’s natural enough. And considering the time you’ve had lately, I’d be surprised if you weren’t feeling unsettled.’

Unsettled. That was a word I could accept. It sounded normal and transitory, and not as though I was losing every shred of my gumption.

I took a breath. ‘Maybe we could talk?’

‘Of course.’ He got up and closed the door, shutting all my challenges and obstacles, potential failures and gnawing fears on the other side of it. In here, just for a little while, I didn’t have to face any of them.

‘Tell me how you’re feeling,’ Rob said, and I was struck again by how easily this man could go from grim, Scary Rob to patient and kind-hearted doctor.

How I loved my Society.

‘I think it started back in Vale,’ I began. I took a deep breath, and the words flowed and flowed. It was a long time before I stopped talking.

But Rob listened and counselled, and Pup wriggled and cuddled, and by the time I left the sanitorium the tears had receded and I felt much more balanced.

Onward, Ves, I told myself sternly. We can do this.

With Goodie at my heels, I trailed back to the first-floor common room and took my usual seat. Jay’s opposite chair sat empty and dreary, but one thing was there to welcome me: Milady’s silver chocolate-pot, pouring steam from the spout.

‘Thanks, Milady,’ I murmured, pouring a cup. ‘We’re going to be okay.’

The Magick of Merlin: 18

I made my way to the library with some feelings of mild apprehension. Jay might justifiably kill me for having left him to fret all day. Val might justifiably murder me for having failed to get her the contents of Merlin’s grimoire.

My life was in all kinds of danger, lately.

I found Jay sitting in one of the deep, silver-brocaded chairs before the hearth in the main hall of the library. Those self-same chairs I hardly saw anyone use, until recently when Val sat there with Crystobel Elvyng.

Now Jay sat alone, a book on his lap but his gaze fixed upon the empty grate. He didn’t look worried so much as forlorn, which tore at my heart-strings rather a lot.

‘For a man pretending to read, you’re doing an abominable job,’ I said.

He looked up sharply, and then sat up, so fast he almost tossed his book onto the floor. ‘Ves! You’re okay. I mean… are you okay?’

I wondered, too late, what I looked like. I hadn’t bothered to check, and considering my frame of mind, I probably looked like a washed-out wreck. ‘I’m fine,’ I said, attempting a reassuring smile. ‘And I’m really sorry that I worried you. I should have thought of that before.’

Jay smiled. ‘In your shoes, I’m not sure I would have reacted much differently,’ he said, generous as always. ‘It’s a big ask.’

Daringly, I took the opposite seat to Jay’s. It felt like I was lounging all over hallowed ground, and I half expected Val to come shooting in from her desk, ready to incinerate me on the spot.

But she didn’t, and nothing happened, so I relaxed a bit. ‘It’s just been a… strange couple of months,’ I said, with towering understatement. ‘I don’t feel much like myself anymore.’ I remembered Rob’s recent words, and his encouragement to visit Grace for some in-house counselling. I’d spurned the very idea at the time, but.

Perhaps he had a point.

‘I think you aren’t like your old self,’ Jay said. ‘You aren’t quite the person you were when I first met you.’

Dismal thought.

‘But is that a bad thing?’ he went on. ‘You were magnificent before. Now you’re going to be epic.’

I had to grin. ‘Epic! Will people pen long accounts of my daring exploits?’

‘Undoubtedly. Great tomes of extravagant praise.’

My smile faded. ‘But no, because in this new future scenario, I wouldn’t be me anymore. I’d be doing the things I do under the banner of Merlin’s legacy. Who will remember Ves?’

Jay looked long at me. ‘Is that what’s bothering you?’

I thought about it. ‘Not the likelihood of not being personally remembered. That is the fate that awaits almost all of us. But ceasing to be me anymore, in my own lifetime? Yes, that bothers me. What’s left of Ophelia? What became of her life?’

‘You can do this your own way, Ves. Like you do everything. You don’t have to let Ophelia’s choices rule you.’

‘But maybe she made them because she had to.’

‘Maybe she didn’t. Maybe she made those choices because she wanted to.’

I shifted in my seat. ‘I need to talk to her again. I mean, I don’t even know why she wants to replace herself, or what I’d be expected to do as the next Merlin.’

Jay nodded. ‘She anticipated that, so she left me the means to reach her.’

‘She left you the means?’

‘She’s got a little henge, apparently. I assume it’s attached to that secret abode you visited. If you’re ready to talk, I can take you there.’

I felt a surge of gut-gnawing apprehension, and badly wanted to say no.

But fear is there to stop us from doing things. That is its sole purpose. And while, on occasion, it’s wise to pay attention, most of the time it’s talking crap.

‘Right,’ I said. ‘If you’re at leisure now, shall we get it over with?’

Jay smiled like he was impressed with me, which made me feel a tiny bit better. If Jay experiences such ordinary human sensations as nerves or indeed screaming terror, I’ve rarely caught a glimpse of it, but I suppose he must. ‘I can take you right now,’ he said, and stood up.

‘Ves?’

I looked up. Val came floating towards us in her spectacularly green Elvyng chair, one hand held out to Jay. He placed into it the book he’d been ignoring, and she settled it tenderly in her lap. ‘You’re going?’ she said.

I nodded.

‘Good.’ She looked piercingly at me, and added, ‘You’ve got this, Ves.’

‘And there I thought I was doing a good job of exuding an effortless calm.’

Val snorted. Then, pointing a finger at me, she said: ‘Get me that grimoire.’

Before I could reply, she’d turned her chair and sailed back into the depths of her beloved library.

When Jay whirled us away upon the Winds, we emerged into a compact little grove, ringed around with rowan and ash trees, and carpeted in deep moss and clover. Merlin’s henge was a collection of low, time-worn stones, reddish-brown in hue and veined in moss agate.

At one edge of the grove rose a low-roofed cottage, timber-beamed, with whitewashed walls and a thatched roof. For a building that apparently dated from somewhere in the late fourteen hundreds, it looked curiously new and fresh. This couldn’t be the dwelling of the original Merlin; it wasn’t old enough. But its state of preservation owed much to the powerful enchantments that kept this place just a little separated from the regular flow of time. Which long-forgotten Merlin had created this place?

I set off in the direction of the cottage, heading for the diminutive, blue-painted front door that led into it.

Halfway there, I realised Jay was not following.

When I turned, I saw he’d settled himself cross-legged in the middle of the henge, and looked fixed there for a while.

‘Aren’t you coming?’ I called.

He shook his head. ‘Not my place.’

‘Not your place? Jay, you’ve every right to be a part of this.’

His smile was faint. ‘I don’t think so. I’d be intruding.’

I went back over to him, and held out my hand. ‘If you mean you’d rather not be dragged into this, I can understand and respect that. But we’re friends, and we’re partners, and if I’m given the choice I don’t want to do this without you.’

Jay still looked doubtful.

‘If it’s Merlin you’re worried about, I think she acknowledged and accepted your involvement when she left the means to bring me here with you.’

‘Instead of one of the several other Waymasters at Home?’

‘Jay, don’t be an idiot. She could’ve just opened a gateway. You know, like she did at the Elvyng house.’

His eyebrows shot up. ‘I… didn’t think of that.’

I grinned, and wiggled my outstretched fingers. ‘Come on. Somebody’s got to keep me from doing anything too completely crazy.’

‘Since when have I ever had that power?’ said Jay, not without justice. But he permitted me to pull him to his feet, and when I set off again for Merlin’s cottage he came with me.

‘Ves,’ said Ophelia shortly afterwards, as she answered the door. ‘Excellent. Do, please, come in, both of you.’

Feeling obscurely pleased to be addressed as Ves, rather than anything more intimidatingly formal, I followed her inside.

I soon concluded that some kind of illusion was going on somewhere, for there were more rooms inside than seemed possible. Ophelia led us through a small kitchen (not without its modern conveniences); a cosy parlour, resplendent with polished wood and tapestry; a book-room stuffed with volumes both aged and new; and finally back into the workroom I’d seen before, which was far too big for the cottage’s confines.

‘This,’ she said as we entered, ‘is inherited from the first Merlin, or so it’s said. The rest of the building has been added at different, later times.’

‘Has every Merlin lived here?’ I ventured. Subtext: would I be living here, too, someday?

‘I assume so,’ said Ophelia. ‘I lived here with my predecessor for some years before he moved on.’

Moved on. I hesitated, but I had to ask. ‘Do you mean… did he die, or…?’

She shook her head, busying herself with a brisk tidying-up of the cluttered chamber. ‘Not then. He spoke of a desire to travel beyond the borders of Britain. I do not know where he was, when he finally died.’

Heartened by this vision of life after Merlinhood, I perched atop my chosen stool from before. Jay had taken a similar seat, and looked similarly uncertain. But when I looked at him, he managed to find for me an encouraging smile.

Poor Jay. Remorse smote me again. From the moment he’d joined the Society, he had been swept up in my orbit, and I had no doubt I had run him ragged since. I hadn’t meant to, but did that matter?

I needed to think of a way to make it up to him. Or at the least, to show the enormous gratitude I felt for his staunch presence at my side, no matter how crazy I got, or how foolishly I’d failed to listen to him.

‘You’ll have questions?’ said Ophelia into the silence.

‘Right. Yes,’ I said, dragging back my wandering thoughts. ‘I was wondering… about the practicalities, I suppose. Like, how does it work? Will I be your apprentice? Will I live here? How is the role handed over? What will I do, as Merlin? And… and what won’t I do, anymore?’

She nodded along with each question, and when my trail of worries had come to a close, she spoke with the kind of brisk efficiency which made short work of my anxieties.

‘You will be my apprentice for a time, though you won’t have to live here if you would prefer not to. I can arrange for a gateway to be available for your use. You won’t have to give up your present occupation, if that concerns you. In fact, I would rather that you did not. It is my hope that Merlin’s legacy will be used to support your stated goal of a magickal restoration for Britain, and indeed beyond, and you will best achieve that by remaining with the Society.’ She took a breath. ‘There is no complicated process in handing over the role. It will not hurt you.’

Which neatly answered most of my questions, and quieted some of my fears. I wouldn’t have to change completely. I could still be me, and do the things I do. Hopefully.

But.

‘If you’ll forgive me for prying,’ I said. ‘Why is it that you want to hand off the role? Are you not… happy with it?’ For while she was no longer a young woman, she wasn’t a crone either. She had nothing of the look of a woman in imminent danger of her life, nor of a woman in urgent need of retirement. If it wasn’t those things that spurred her to seek a replacement, what was it? Something about the role itself?

Ophelia met my eyes, briefly, and looked away. ‘I have not been a stellar Merlin,’ she said quietly. ‘I have tried my best, but… the things at which I have excelled have done little to further the role. I have compiled a new grimoire. I have developed new enchantments, new magicks, derived from all those ancient practices I have inherited. But I have not used them. It has been my nature to remain within these walls, working alone. Is that what Merlin should be? Is that why his powers have been handed down? I think not.’ She shook her head, and I saw raw regret in her face. ‘For three years, I have been searching for someone who could carry those powers back into the real world. Someone who will use them, who will do something that matters. Someone who will not be alone; someone with the right people beside her.’ Her glance acknowledged Jay, and her words encompassed the Society as a whole. ‘I think I have found that person at last,’ she said, looking squarely at me again. ‘I am well aware of the trepidation you must feel, but I assure you I will do everything in my power to make the process as painless for you as possible.’

There was an undercurrent of pleading in her words, I realised. She really, badly wanted someone to say yes.

She wanted me to say yes.

I swallowed another surge of terror, and said: ‘Must it be me? Are you sure?’

‘Who can ever be absolutely sure of anything?’ she countered. ‘But as far as I can judge, I believe you to be the right candidate.’

‘But… why?’

She’d already answered that question, of course. Something to do with my capacity to absorb magick, my affinity with ancient musical wonders and mythical creatures — none of which I could understand or explain. I struggled to believe it. I struggled to feel that these happenstances were anything I could claim, anything I could take credit for. They were just… me.

 Ophelia’s eyebrows twitched. Amusement? ‘Humility is healthy,’ she said. ‘But look back over your track record these several years past, and tell me I am asking the wrong person.’

‘Touché,’ I sighed. I could bleat a bit more, if I wanted to. I could bang on about my lack of inherent magickal prowess — I wasn’t a natural genius like Jay or Indira, and I lacked the discipline to study and learn as much as someone like them. Or Val. But those things weren’t really being called for, were they? If she needed someone with a cause, and a support network, and just enough reckless determination to tackle utterly stupid goals in the name of magick, well… that’s exactly what a Ves is for. Right?

‘Okay then,’ I said, all in a rush. ‘I accept.’

There. I’d said it, and that was a promise. I couldn’t turn chicken and back out now.

Ophelia smiled, the first real smile I had seen from her. It had a great deal of relief in it. ‘And you?’ she said, turning to Jay. ‘Are you in agreement?’

Jay looked rather wide-eyed, and I could picture the words scrolling through his brain. Just exactly what am I agreeing to do here? But to his credit, with only a visible swallow, he said: ‘Absolutely.’

‘I don’t suppose you’d make a Merlin of Jay instead?’ I offered. ‘He’s much more responsible than me, and cleverer, and he’s more powerful, too. He’s used to wielding magick of absurd potency. He’d be great!’

Jay’s eyebrows had climbed into his hair at this portrait of himself, and his eyes telegraphed a frantic no, thank you, at me.

Fortunately for us both, Ophelia shook her head. ‘I have alternative ideas in mind for Jay Patel,’ she said, and if those words terrified Jay half as much as they did me, then we were going to need another karaoke night in pretty short order.

The Magick of Merlin: 17

Shock is a strange experience. Events that are (arguably) positive, amazing and overall pretty great can be as much of a shock to the system as more unpleasant happenings. Who knew?

I say arguably positive, because I was by no means sold on the whole Merlin deal.

Why don’t we do pros and cons?

Pro number one: Power. Who isn’t just a little bit seduced by that, at one point or another? I’ve never been power hungry, but I couldn’t altogether resist the allure of that much magick at my disposal. That much arcane knowledge. All the things I could do… Jay was right. We could use it.

Pro number two: Respect. To be Merlin, the Merlin, would be to join the magickal insider club for real. And for good. No one would argue with my right to do, or know, pretty much anything I wanted. Plus, I’d get to hobnob with all the magickal greats. Surely? Ophelia might have chosen to hide, but that didn’t mean I would have to… right?

Pro number three: Long life, sort of. Was Ophelia any older than the average human woman, or was it merely that she’d skipped a lot of years? Either way, I might get to see what the world looks like in a century.

Con number one: Long life. If I am still kicking around in a century, then everyone I know and love today will be dead. Not for nothing was I struck by the loneliness of Ophelia’s existence.

Con number two: Power, and indeed respect. Look at that train of thought. I could do whatever I like! No one could argue with me! That, my friends, is the high road to Hell.

More cons: I’m truly not sure that I could handle that much magick. I wasn’t kidding when I said it might break me. Without Addie, I’d already be a gibbering wreck. What would Merlin’s powers do to me?

The only way to find out the answer to that little conundrum? Try it and see! And hope I don’t explode.

I know this has been my favoured modus operandi for some time now, but never with these kinds of stakes.

I, reckless Ves, am running scared. How’s that for an about-face?

Not that there has been much actual running involved. I’ve been holed up in House’s favourite room for a night and most of a day, and I can’t tell you that I feel any more inclined to emerge. I don’t want to face Milady, who spoke of my incipient Merlinhood as though it would be a lovely little promotion, no big deal. I don’t want to run the risk that our current Merlin herself will still be out there, waiting to coolly tell me more about how ideal I am for this doom.

I don’t want to face Jay, who accepted both Merlin’s existence and her mad proposition without a blink, and smilingly told me to go for it.

If anyone’s taught sceptical Jay to accept pure craziness at face value, it’s undoubtedly me, but that isn’t a reflection to make me feel any better right now.

To hell with it.

‘House,’ I said at one point. ‘How did this happen? I mean, how did I get here? I never wanted anything this big. Truly, I didn’t. I’ve just been doing my job.’

And later, ‘Okay, I developed a few gigantic dreams here and there, but they weren’t for me. They were for magick as a whole. I’m not legend material. Am I?’

Dear House let me ramble in peace. I wasn’t really expecting a response, of course. Just talking to the wall. Sometimes it helps a person achieve some measure of clarity.

Sometimes.

House did keep me well supplied, though. Three meals a day, served on the dot of eight o’clock, one o’clock and seven o’clock. Afternoon tea at three. An en suite bathroom just off the parlour, which I strongly suspect was not there before. A comfortably blazing fire, which may seem odd for the end of summer, but the parlour’s oddly chilly.

I studied the portraits on the walls at my leisure, without deriving any further clues as to the probable identities of the subjects. Or indeed, who had put them there. Were they the property of Milady, or had House preserved them for reasons of its own?

I did ask, but nobody answered.

‘One thing that interests me,’ I said, shortly after dinner (pancakes, of course. How well House knows me). ‘If there’s one hereditary magickal role derived from an ancient legend, are there more? If Merlin was, and is, real, how about Morgan le Fay? Circe? Hell, how about Gandalf?’

‘I knew you would ask those questions, sooner or later,’ came Milady’s voice.

After a solid day of silence, save only for my own voice, I near jumped out of my skin.

I may have sworn a bit.

‘Sorry,’ I said immediately. ‘I was startled.’

‘I do apologise. I could not think of a way to announce myself.’

‘Have you been here the whole time?’ I asked.

‘No. But occasionally I’ve looked in on you.’

I suppose if I’d wanted absolute peace and privacy, hiding in the heart of the House was not the best choice.

‘Jay is most concerned,’ added Milady.

‘Sorry,’ I said weakly, afflicted with a sudden rush of guilt. Poor Jay. I’d left him kicking his heels all day, and apparently he was kind enough to worry about me.

I checked my phone, but he hadn’t messaged or called. He’d been giving me space.

That, or my phone wouldn’t work in House’s favourite room. It did have a certain seventeenth-century air about it, after all.

‘Are you perhaps ready to emerge?’ said Milady. ‘Merlin has left us for the present.’

‘I suppose I must,’ I sighed. ‘It’s childish to hide from my problems, isn’t it? As though if they can’t see me, they’ll go away.’

‘It is natural enough, at times of great stress. I myself once spent two days complete in this very room, quite alone.’

‘Really?’ I sat up a bit. ‘Why did you do that?’

She hesitated long enough that I wasn’t sure she would answer. But then she said, ‘I had been offered the role I now occupy, and I did not know whether or not to accept.’

‘Wow. Offered by whom?’

She chuckled. ‘I cannot provide too many details, of course. Not at this time.’

At this time. That meant: not now, but maybe someday.

‘I need hardly ask whether or not you regretted it,’ I said.

‘For the most part, I have not. I have been able to achieve far more than I ever dreamed possible, and it is worthy work.’

Worthy work. Yes. What these kinds of choices came down to, in essence, was: were we willing to devote everything we had to our work, at any price?

And I suppose I was frightened because I already knew the answer to that question. I’d been saying yes for years.

I would say yes again.

I just didn’t know whether I was up to the cost.

My hands were shaking again, so I clasped them tightly together and tried to appear unconcerned.

But the shaking spread to my whole body, and when my teeth began to chatter I gave up on trying to hide it. ‘I don’t know if I can do it,’ I said. ‘I really don’t know.’

‘We never know what we can do,’ said Milady gently. ‘We never feel ready. All you can do, dear Ves, is decide whether you’re willing to try.’

Giddy gods. I gritted my teeth on a rising tide of nausea.

‘If it helps, I have complete confidence in you,’ Milady continued. ‘So does your excellent friend Jay. So does Val; indeed, I have no doubt that the entire Society would support you without question. To us, the question is not can she do it, but what will she achieve when she does?’

‘I appreciate that,’ I said tightly. ‘Really, I do. But I’m also seeing the dark side. Like, how many people are going to be disappointed when I burst like rotten fruit?’

‘Ves…’

‘Though if that happens I’ll be a goner, so I suppose I won’t care anyway.’

‘I am one hundred percent positive it will not kill you.’

‘Really? That certain?’

‘To partially answer your earlier question: yes, there are other such roles in this world. Or, there have been; I am not sure myself how many yet survive, or who now embodies each archetype. But I have never heard of anyone’s dying in the attempt of it.’

A flicker of excitement rose, somewhere in my beleaguered soul. ‘Who are the other ones?’

‘Some of your guesses were rather shrewd.’

‘Gandalf wasn’t one of the shrewd ones?’

‘Not that one, no.’

‘Curse it.’ I’d been hoping for Gandalf. ‘But Morgan le Fay? And Circe?’

‘Again, I do not know if either of those still walk these worlds. But they are certainly past archetypes, and may still be current.’

‘I bet Merlin knows.’

‘I imagine she might, yes.’

And my traitorous curiosity betrayed me.

All the things Merlin knows.

All the things I would know, if I became the next Merlin-archetype.

‘Sideline,’ I said. ‘All those three names are from ancient times. Are there new archetypes? I mean, has anybody from a more recent era become such a legend as to qualify?’

Her silence was… eloquent.

‘I cannot discuss that,’ she finally said.

Milady being cagey meant… I’d stumbled over something.

‘You’re one of them,’ I gasped. ‘A newly minted archetype. Or an old one?’

‘Ves, these are things I cannot discuss.’

‘I respect your right to conceal anything you choose, of course, but… why can’t you?’

‘For the same reasons Merlin has chosen to hide herself. Morgan and Circe may be doing the same. Legends loom especially large in this modern world, Ves, and that has its drawbacks as well as its advantages. Anonymity grants me a degree of safety and freedom that I might not otherwise enjoy.’

‘I think I understand.’

‘I am sorry for it, sometimes. Secrecy has its costs as well.’

I thought of Ophelia/Merlin’s lonely abode, and nodded.

‘Well,’ I said briskly, and hauled myself out of my comfortable chair. ‘It’s time I stopped bemoaning my fate and got on with it.’

‘I have always admired your courage, Ves,’ said Milady quietly. ‘I realise this is not easy for you.’

I bowed my acknowledgement of this vote of confidence. ‘Where might I find Jay?’

‘He’s in the library, with Valerie.’

‘Right.’ I made it halfway to the door before I was halted by an appalling thought. ‘Wait. These archetypes. Nicolas Flamel… he isn’t one of them, is he?’ The words I’d scrawled in my notebook not long ago floated behind my eyes. Nicolas Flamel sucks.

Milady laughed. ‘To my knowledge, he is not.’

‘Thank goodness for that.’

The Magick of Merlin: 16

We trotted up House’s driveway, passing in between those ancient oaks all silver-painted by the moon. Upon discovering the front door sitting open at three in the morning, we entered the building at a near run.

‘House,’ I said, a bit breathless. ‘Is everything all right?’

I couldn’t see much. The door might be open but no lights illuminated the entrance hall. That air of dead-of-night stillness shrouded everything, as indeed it was supposed to at that hour, and though Jay and I stood for a couple of minutes, we heard nothing but silence.

‘House?’ I said again. I found the nearest wall and laid a hand against it. Cool, smooth brick met my fingers, and that was all. Nothing untoward.

‘Seems normal enough,’ I whispered, and that’s when the lights came on.

‘Aha,’ said Merlin, coming into the hall through a far doorway, her arms full of boxes. ‘I’ve brought your argent.’

I blinked stupidly at her. ‘What?’

‘Your argent,’ she repeated, and offered the stack of boxes to me. They were ordinary parcel boxes, though I could feel the strength of their warding enchantments even from several feet away. The cardboard hid some of the Elvyngs’ patented safe boxes, I guessed, and inside those…

‘Wait,’ I said, looking wildly about. ‘How is it that you have the argent? And — and how are you here?’

Her brows rose, and she looked more closely at me than she had yet. ‘Oh,’ she said, no doubt observing my inebriated state. Fortunately, her expression was more amused than disapproving.

‘You haven’t done something to the House?’ I said, unable to suppress a flicker of panic. The visibility, the open door — it wasn’t normal and it wasn’t right.

‘No, no,’ she said. ‘The House has been very welcoming.’

I relaxed a little. House was very, very hard to find, when it wanted to be. If it didn’t want Merlin in here, she’d never have discovered its whereabouts.

Probably.

Was Merlin powerful enough to outwit our House?

‘If House didn’t want her here, we’d be seeing some sign of it,’ Jay murmured to me, sotto voce.

And he had a point. If she had forced her way in here, House wouldn’t be doing all this nothing about it.

‘It was visible,’ I said to Merlin, attempting to explain. ‘From the fields, way back there.’ I waved an arm.

‘I did ask it for your whereabouts,’ she said. ‘Having gathered that you were absent, I requested its assistance in bringing you Home. Perhaps that is why it rendered itself perceptible from an unusual distance.’

A nearby floating lamp flickered briefly, and I felt a sense of warmth. Approval from House.

‘Right,’ I said, relaxing. ‘Sorry. Um, hi! Lovely to see you again.’

‘Perhaps I can take those,’ said Jay, stepping forward.

‘You must be Jay,’ said Merlin, handing off the stack of boxes to him. ‘Excellent.’

‘Is it?’ said he, hefting the load as though the boxes weighed nothing. Hopefully they didn’t literally weigh nothing. Just a handy enchantment to take the burden out of carting them around… right?

‘I was hoping to meet you both,’ said Merlin. ‘It is important that Ves should have suitable support, at least for the early years.’

‘Support?’ I felt that lurking sense of dread again, the same as had plagued me during my last conversation with this woman. ‘For what? The early years of what?’

‘If we may find somewhere suitable to talk?’

‘Milady’s tower,’ I said promptly. Whatever it was this woman proposed to say to me, or to do to me, I wanted Milady to be present for it.

‘An excellent choice,’ she said.

I exchanged a puzzled look with Jay, who glanced at the boxes he carried. ‘I guess these can come with us for now,’ he said. ‘I can take them to Orlando in the morning.’

Few places at Home could be more secure than Milady’s tower, so I made no objection. As we clambered our way up the stairs, more questions flooded into my befuddled brain.

‘Ophelia,’ I said. ‘Or Merlin. Sorry to be inquisitive, but how do you come to have Crystobel’s argent?’

‘I thought it polite to pay a call on her,’ she said, sounding for all the world like an eighteenth century society lady. ‘Having inconvenienced her and her father over the matter of the grimoire, of course.’ Something in her tone hinted at a hidden layer of steel. Had it been a mere social call, or had she also wanted to inspect those who had access to the magick contained within the grimoire? I was suddenly grateful that I wasn’t standing in Crystobel Elvyng’s shoes just now. Had the uses to which they’d put the grimoire’s enchantments satisfied Merlin?

‘And when,’ Ophelia/Merlin continued, ‘I understood she intended an immediate dispatch of your argent, I offered to convey it.’

‘How kind,’ I murmured. ‘But, um, you aren’t here just to deliver the silver?’

‘Indeed not.’

I rubbed at my face, tripped over the next step, and wished to all the gods we hadn’t chosen this of all possible nights to let our proverbial hair down. My wine-fogged brain refused to keep up with these strings of surprising events. I felt half asleep and half awake, dreaming yet not.

‘Perhaps I might be of assistance?’ said Merlin/Ophelia, and without waiting for an answer, she touched my elbow. The lightest of touches, there and then gone, but in an instant my inebriation vanished.

I straightened, blinking. ‘That is a good trick,’ I said, with a certain amount of envy. ‘Thank you. Could you do Jay, as well?’

Do what to me?’ said Jay incredulously, but in another instant Merlin had performed her excellent drink-busting charm upon him as well, and he followed that up with an enthralled, ‘Oh.’ He added, ‘That’s way better than Anaya’s!’

Dimly, I recalled that this was the name of yet another of Jay’s sisters.

‘It is one of the inherited arts,’ murmured Merlin, striding slowly up the stairs beside me, and without exhibiting the smallest signs of tiring, despite her apparent age. ‘Not among the most useful or the most spectacular, of course, but it has its uses.’

‘A.. Merlin-inherited art?’ I hazarded.

She nodded.

I travelled up the rest of the stairs in silence, trying unsuccessfully to parse that unlikely piece of information. Something about her Merlinness involved inherited charms, presumably those ancient magicks my mother had spoken of. And one of them was… an inebriation-busting charm.

Right.

At last we reached the top of the many flights of stairs, and arrived at Milady’s tower-top room. The oaken door, of course, was closed.

I knocked. ‘Erm, Milady? Sorry to bother you at this hour, but it’s quite important.’

‘Come in,’ she said instantly.

‘Sorry,’ I said again, upon entering the room. My bare feet, slightly damaged from the walk, relished the sensation of soft, thick carpet under my toes. ‘I know it’s an unsociable time, but…’ I stopped talking, because the wall-lamps were softly aglow, a set of three deep armchairs sat arranged around a low, pearl-inlaid coffee table I hadn’t seen before, and a tea set sat ready, with several elegant porcelain cups and two pots. One for tea, one for chocolate, judging from the aromas.

We hadn’t taken Milady by surprise. It might be three in the morning, but she was waiting for us.

‘This looks nice,’ I said lamely, claiming one of the chairs.

‘Welcome Ves, Jay,’ said Milady. ‘And Merlin. It’s an honour to have you with us again.’

Again? Jay and I shared a what-in-the-name-of look.

‘One of my predecessors, I fancy,’ said Merlin, taking her seat.

‘I had thought the role lapsed,’ said Milady. ‘Long ago.’

‘I have considered it advisable to remain hidden,’ said Merlin.

None of this made much sense to me, or to Jay, either. We sat in shared silence, thoughts awhirl.

‘Is it time?’ said Milady.

‘Not immediately. But the time approaches, and it would be well to prepare.’

At which point, she looked at me.

I didn’t like that look either, nor the timing. I avoided it by lunging for the coffee table, and divesting it of one cup of chocolate. This I attempted to sip in elegant fashion, and ended up gulping half of it down in two swallows.

My hands were shaking.

Jay, sensibly appointing himself spokesperson, said: ‘May I ask what’s afoot?’

Milady said nothing, leaving Merlin the floor.

Merlin — or Ophelia — shifted in her seat, betraying a trace of discomfort at last. ‘You understand the nature of the Merlin role, of course?’

‘We never heard it referred to as a role until two minutes ago,’ said Jay.

‘In other words, no,’ I croaked.

‘Many years ago,’ she answered. ‘Many centuries ago, the man remembered as Merlin wrought magicks of unfathomable power across the British Isles. He was, and is, among the greatest of magickal legends these shores have ever produced. All this is known.

‘What is not known is what became of him when he died. He had no wish to permit his extraordinary powers to die away with him. Perhaps it was arrogance; perhaps it was foresight. He may have seen that we would need those powers, someday far in the future.

‘So he chose a successor. An apprentice, if you will, but one who inherited the greater part of Merlin’s powers upon his death, as well as much of his knowledge. And he charged his apprentice to do the same, whenever his own time should come. By no means should Merlin’s magick ever be permitted to fade away.’

‘You’re wielding fifteen-hundred year old magick?’ I squeaked. My brain stuttered and died just trying to picture the kind of potency she was talking about.

‘Some of it has been lost to time, of course,’ she said, nodding at me. ‘Merlin’s magick is a degree lessened each time it is passed to a new host, and some of the things he knew are no longer remembered now. But what remains of it is still considerable.’

‘Interesting,’ I said.

Interesting indeed. When Ophelia said considerable, she meant of unimaginable depth compared to weak and faded modern magick. Yes, she was just one person, but still. The possibilities.

‘And in my turn, I shall need someone to carry these powers into the future,’ Ophelia continued briskly. ‘Someone who will put them to good use.’

She was looking steadily at me as she uttered most of this. I have no idea what my face was doing, but my brain repeated just the one word, over and over: no, no no no no no no…

Milady said, ‘Someone dedicated to protecting and preserving magick, perhaps.’

‘And restoring it for the future,’ said Jay, the traitor.

‘Wait,’ I said, breathless. ‘It — you — surely you can’t mean me.

‘You have shown a remarkable capacity to absorb unusual and potent magick,’ said Merlin. ‘You also possess a kinship with creatures such as the unicorn, and an affinity with ancient magicks most can in no way fathom, such as the Lyre of the Yllanfalen. And your morals, your priorities, are exactly where they ought to be.’

‘You also have the full support of the Society,’ said Milady.

‘And your friends,’ said Jay quietly. I shot a sharp look at him. How could he be so laid back about this? Why wasn’t he freaking out, like I was?

‘This is—’ I groped for a fitting word. ‘Insane. Impossible. You can’t be serious. Jay, tell me you don’t believe this craziness?’

Jay’s smile was a little strained. ‘Too crazy, even for Ves?’

Way too crazy!’

‘We’ve little reason not to believe it,’ he said. ‘And imagine what it would be like, to have powers like this at the Society’s disposal. We need this, Ves.’

‘I don’t,’ I said vehemently. ‘I can’t do this. Ophelia, you’ve got the wrong person. I haven’t been the same since Vale — the damned lyre — it almost tore me apart.’

‘But it did not,’ said Merlin.

‘It might yet,’ I muttered darkly.

Merlin shook her head. ‘The worst is in the past.’

‘Until you dump an ocean of ancient magick on my head. Then I fly to pieces.’

‘I do not think you will,’ she said, damnably serene.

‘I have full confidence in you, Ves,’ said Milady. ‘This comes as no surprise to me.’

‘I realise this is a great deal to take in,’ Merlin said, inadequately.

You, perhaps, do,’ I said. ‘But can you tell me you’ve never regretted the day you agreed to take on this role?’ I was thinking of the life she seemed to lead, tucked away from the world among the echoes of a distant past. Safely hidden. Completely alone.

‘Sometimes,’ she said. ‘But the things I have been able to achieve—’

‘I have to go,’ I blurted, and shot out of my chair. ‘Sorry, I… I have to go.’ I was out of the door and halfway down the stairs in seconds, running hard. Running away. I ran and ran, clattering back down all those long flights of stairs, through corridor after twisting corridor, doors that opened for me before I ever had a chance to touch them.

I ended at last somewhere I’d scarcely ever been before.

The parlour at the heart of Home. House’s favourite room.

‘House,’ I panted, collapsing into one of the delicately upholstered mahogany chairs. ‘Shut the door. Please, don’t open it to anybody else. Not yet.’

The door creaked slowly shut behind me, locked with a reassuring snap, and I was safe. Safe from importuning Merlins, encouraging Miladies, or supportive Jays.

A fire flickered into being in the grate, and roared into comforting life. Better still, the opposite wall buckled, and a narrow bed slithered free of it, thickly covered in a floral duvet and drowning in pillows.

‘Thank you,’ I said weakly, trying unsuccessfully to stem a confusing and rather humiliating flow of tears. But the bed was welcoming, and as I collapsed face-first onto it, I watered the pillows pretty liberally. I’m not proud of it, but I’m here to tell you the truth.

Sometime much later, I fell into an exhausted sleep.

The Magick of Merlin: 15

I emerged back in the Elvyngs’ grimoire-cupboard, seated atop the glass case. Thankfully, the thing was made of sturdy stuff, for I didn’t crash straight through it.

Being dizzy as hell and confused, I did promptly fall off it.

Sadly there was no Jay to catch me.

‘Ouch,’ I wheezed, picking myself up. ‘Too much to hope for a nice, soft carpet—’

‘Ves?’ somebody yelled. ‘Was that you?’

Jay appeared in the doorway, looking harassed.

‘You mean the inelegant thud marking my undignified tumble off this delightful display case, and the ill-natured muttering with which I expressed my dissatisfaction?’

‘Yeah, those.’

‘Because who else could it possibly have been?’

‘Exactly.’

I dusted myself off, rather crossly. ‘Aren’t you going to ask me where I’ve been?’

‘Hadn’t thought it necessary.’

‘Because the story will naturally spill forth in my usual display of verbal diarrhoea?’

Jay just nodded, like, obviously?

I sighed. ‘I went to Merlin’s Secret Lab where I learned almost nothing, but at least the grimoire’s back.’ I peered through the clear glass. Yep, one priceless and elusive spell-book stashed therein. ‘Great. Okay. Does Mr. Elvyng know? Can I call Crystobel?’

‘Merlin’s Secret Lab?’

‘She’s got a between-the-echoes thing. A bit like Baroness Tremayne’s, but cooler.’

‘How did you persuade her to return the grimoire?’

‘I didn’t. She borrowed the book one time, and would’ve returned it sooner, if she hadn’t happened to forget for about a thousand years.’

‘She… forgot.’

‘She’s absent-minded, but who isn’t when you’re wielding the ancient power of a lost age?’

Jay made his incredulous face.

‘You didn’t really think she was Merlin? I guess I didn’t either. But she is. Also her name’s Ophelia.’ Jay clearly getting ready to voice a million questions of his own, I held up a hand. ‘Don’t ask me. She did not choose to tell me what any of that means.’

Jay digested that. ‘And the other items?’ he said.

‘The what— oh, the other stolen things that Sally mentioned? No idea, but they probably ended up in the same place. Whether she borrowed those, too, or decided to keep them, I neither know nor care.’

Jay nodded, eyeing me with a slight frown. ‘Are you okay?’

I ran my hands through my tumbled, jade-green hair, thus casting it into still greater disorder. ‘I don’t know. I feel as though I was just assessed for something, but I don’t know what, and I don’t feel good about it.’

‘Pass or fail?’

What a very Jay question. ‘No clue. Suspect pass, but could be either. And I’m frustrated that I didn’t get any answers to anything else, either.’

‘Well… mission accomplished, right?’ said Jay, putting a hand under my elbow when I displayed a propensity to wobble. ‘We have what we came for. We can move ahead.’

‘True,’ I said, with a deep sigh. ‘True. Yay, we won.’

‘Best detectives ever,’ said Jay, with a small smile.

‘Craziest detectives ever, and more dependent on deception, luck and outright fraud than any self-respecting detective is supposed to be. But hey, if it gets the job done.’ My own smile was rather humourless. I’d have to try harder.

Jay wasn’t fooled. ‘It’ll be okay, Ves,’ he said, giving my arm a friendly squeeze.

I turned troubled eyes on him, unable to feel comforted. ‘Are you sure?’

‘No, but… I have hope.’

‘Care to share some of that hope juice? I seem to be fresh out.’

‘By all means. We’ll start with a cake or six, because you look like you could use the sugar. A barrel or two of wine. Bit of karaoke. And if you aren’t feeling better by the end of all that, I’ll eat my hat.’

‘Which would be quite a sight, I grant you.’ I straightened my spine, took a deep breath, and sallied forth. ‘Onward to victory?’

‘Onward to victory.’

I had the sense to call Crystobel before our party-hard event, not after. She was pleased.

To say the least.

‘You’ve what?’ she said, after I’d dropped the news.

‘Got your grimoire back. All sorted. It’s at home with your father.’

‘Really! Really?’

‘Didn’t you think we would?’

‘I… hoped so, but everyone else we’ve consulted came up with nothing.’

I struggled with myself for a second, but decided to let it pass. If she had set us what she’d thought was an impossible mission in the full expectation that we would fail, well, too bad for her.

Never underestimate the power of a half-deranged Ves and her workaholic sidekick.

‘Who took it?’ she said, which was the question I’d been dreading. ‘And how did they get in?’

Naturally, she needed that information. They’d want to shore up their security, make sure nobody could get a chance at swiping the grimoire again.

‘Well,’ I said slowly. ‘This part gets a little improbable, if you’ll bear with me.’

‘All right…’

‘Merlin took it. Or actually, she just borrowed it back for a bit, and forgot to return it. You should issue her with one hell of an overdue fee.’

If I was hoping the joke would help the dose go down easier, I was deluding myself. ‘Merlin?’ she said sharply. ‘Actually Merlin? That’s absurd.’

And I sighed.

I’d had a debate with Jay before I’d called. Me, I’d been in favour of concocting a more plausible version of events which didn’t involve my having to conquer all of Crystobel’s understandable incredulity and risk a verbal dismembering for being a filthy liar. Jay, of course, was in favour of telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the impossible, ridiculous, who-the-hell-would-believe-me truth, gods damn it.

He won.

So I explained, again, and I was getting a bit tired of lengthy recountings-of-events followed by unlooked-for responses. Merlin had stared at me like she was seeing into the heart of the known universe, and said virtually nothing. Crystobel laughed in my face, only slowly came around to a place where she consented to take me seriously (sort of), and finally rang off in a bit of a huff.

The huff came about because I couldn’t assure her that the grimoire wouldn’t go missing again, or indeed that there was anything she could do about that either.

Really, if Merlin wanted a gateway in the Elvyng mansion so she could occasionally consult the grimoire, then the gateway was going to stay right where it was. Good luck talking her out of it.

I pointed out that Merlin could have just kept the grimoire forever, leaving the Elvyngs short both spell-book and its obscene purchase price, but Crystobel didn’t take that well either.

‘So I should be grateful for mostly retaining ownership over my own property?’ she snapped.

That was the part where I gave up. If I ever saw Merlin again, I’d recommend her to go meet the Elvyngs and have a nice chat about her grimoire. Nothing short of that was going to convince Crystobel (for which I couldn’t truly blame her).

‘It’s been great working with you, Crystobel,’ I said. ‘The Society will send a requisition for the argent soon, okay?’

Fortunately, her sense of professionalism won out over her discontent, and she didn’t spit in my face down the phone. ‘Of course,’ she said. ‘I’ll have a shipment ready for you soon.’

Some gracious, mutual (and even vaguely sincere) praise followed, after which I hung up and awarded myself two minutes of deep breathing, with a side of daydreaming about cake and wine.

One last thing to do: call Val. She at least would be happy with us. The grimoire was real! No word of a lie! This of all mythical spell-books was the honest-to-gods truth!

But I was forgetting one small but crucial detail.

‘That’s fantastic Ves, and what did it say?’ were her words upon hearing the news.

Oops.

‘Er, no idea,’ I admitted.

Ominous silence.

‘I didn’t get a chance to read it…’

‘You didn’t read it?’

‘I was sort of distracted, and anyway the bit I saw wasn’t comprehensible, I think it was in a script I don’t know—’

‘Tell me you at least took a picture?’

‘I, uh, didn’t have the chance, but before you kill me remember that Crystobel promised! Promised, Val. If you talk to her I’m sure she will arrange to get you a look at it.’

‘Let’s all hope so,’ she said dangerously, and then she hung up.

And that’s when Jay and I decided we really needed that drink.

Word of warning for you.

Never challenge Jay to a karaoke contest.

Really, I should’ve known. The man’s part Yllanfalen, and I’ve had every possible clue as to the musical genius he’s hiding under those flashy Waymastery skills.

But I’d had some of that wine he mentioned, and I wasn’t thinking clearly by then.

‘Jay,’ I’d said, after he’d favoured us all with a few of my favourite eighties rock anthems. ‘What are you doing with the Society? I mean, what are you even doing? You should be a rock star.’

He was pleased, I could tell. But being Jay, he was also effortlessly cool. ‘I don’t want to be a rock star,’ he said. ‘I want to be the Society Waymaster, and your sidekick, and maybe do a little music magick on the side. Shall we go Home?’

‘I want to sing again,’ I’d thought it wise to declare, and gods help me, I did.

Sometime later, when I’d finished my Mary Bennet routine and consented to be coaxed out the door, I found myself halfway back Home on foot. Barefoot, if you please, and don’t ask me where my sandals went because I haven’t a clue. The silver moon shone brightly upon the quiet country lane along which Jay and I tottered, not quite at the point where we were obliged to prop each other up, but definitely the worse for wear.

‘Your sister’s great,’ I was saying. ‘What a talent.’

‘Which one?’

‘Right. Indira, I meant. She’s amazing. You’re amazing. Is your whole family like that?’

‘Depends who you ask. My parents would say yes.’

‘What about you?’

‘Modesty’s considered socially acceptable, Ves.’

‘All right. Excepting yourself, is your whole family like that?’

‘Yes.’

‘See, that’s what I thought.’ I fell into a short episode of brooding. ‘I wish I’d had a sibling,’ I announced. ‘A sister. I’d have liked that. Hey, maybe she would’ve been amazing, too.’

‘Not a doubt of it,’ said Jay.

‘Maybe I do have a sister,’ I said, struck by a sudden flash of inspiration. ‘My Dad could have hundreds of kids, for all I know.’

‘He could certainly have one or two more,’ Jay allowed. ‘Have you asked him?’

I vigorously shook my head. ‘But I don’t think Indira and I can ever be friends,’ I said.

‘Why not? She likes you.’

‘I like her, too!’ I said earnestly. ‘Only, she doesn’t like Phil Collins.’

‘It’s a failing I’ve often had to speak to her about.’

I nodded sadly. I’d sung three of his greatest hits only an hour or so earlier, or perhaps I should say I’d mangled them. Poor, wonderful songs, they deserved better than me.

‘You’ll have to change her mind,’ Jay persevered. ‘Invite her to a music party.’

Not a karaoke party.’

He laughed. ‘You were pretty good, honestly.’

I gave him the side-eye.

He grinned. ‘No, really.’

I put my nose in the air. ‘I may not be a natural pop singer, but Addie loves me.’

‘That she does.’

‘Do you have a unicorn Familiar?’

‘Nope.’

‘There,’ I said, unsure what point it was I thought I had won, but certain of having triumphed at something.

‘There’s Home,’ Jay said, pointing. And indeed, upon the silver-lit horizon of harvest-ready wheat there appeared our beloved House, only the top of the roof visible yet, for we were toiling slowly up a woldy slope.

‘Blessed Home,’ I murmured, delighted to see it. Then, a thought filtered slowly into my wine-fogged brain. ‘Wait. Why is it visible?’

Jay glanced sharply at me. ‘What?’

‘My first time here, I got lost for days looking for it. Because it isn’t visible from this distance.’

Jay frowned. He, of course, hadn’t had much occasion to wander up to the House on foot like this.

‘How did you find it on your first day?’ I asked.

‘Way-henge.’

‘Seriously?’

He nodded. ‘Milady marked it on my app for me.’

If we’d had apps like that a decade ago when I was first rolling up to the Society, things might’ve been different. I certainly wouldn’t have been lost for half of eternity.

But if they had, I might never have met Addie.

‘Come to think of it, though, you’re right,’ said Jay. ‘I don’t usually see it until I’m much closer.’

I looked all around, and behind me, as though something to explain House’s unusual visibility choices might materialise out of the darkness. ‘Do you think we should hurry?’ I suggested.

‘You think there might be something wrong?’

‘Wrong? I don’t know. But something? Definitely.’

Jay took my arm. ‘Well then, let’s get a move on.’